My Actual Hangover

Ah yes, last night's decisions finally coming to light and catching up to this morning's nausea leaving you in a haze of almost-regret and self-pity. After recently celebrating my birthday, I was this feeble and pathetic picture of twenty-something delusions, curled up beside the porcelain throne, unable to do anything more than curse the mirage of fun that fills a shot-glass. Even worse than sharing my birthday with one of the year's most anticipated holidays, I was sharing my birthday with the floor. How did I get there? Oh, I knew alright. I wasn't fooling myself, nor was I trying to -- the day-after misery I was then feeling was of my own making. Was I proud? Not really, as it rendered me completely incapacitated. Another year older and hardly wiser, although I had learned enough in the past year to be accountable for my night of drunken fun and its subsequent "ralph" marathon. It was all my fault. You're right. I ruined my own birthday!

You could attribute this inability to hold my liquor to both my own stupidity and the fact that I have no "talent" for binge-drinking whatsoever (a low alcohol tolerance will do the trick.) Nevertheless, these small details conveniently alluded my ability to reason as I prepared for a night out with the gal pals in celebration of my birthday. Sequin-clad and donning a club-inappropriate polar bear hat, I was out and, little did I know, destined for morning-after-doom. Did I have fun while slowly approaching the most-awful-hangover? You bet I did. If I'm going to go down, I'll go down swigging (or is it, swinging?). Besides, it wasn't until the next morning that I realize how all of my mistakes would add up.

Cue Saturday morning -- the sun is shining, the anniversary of my birth is now upon the world, and I have developed a massive headache brought on by too much to drink the night before and a lack of proper hydration. What's first for the now-painfully-aware-of-her-mistakes-birthday girl? A two hour hair appointment, because nothing says happy birthday like inhaling hair chemicals with a potential migraine. To make things even better, I was running late to my appointment, but luckily, the nausea had not quite set in yet and I was only at the massive headache stage. Once I arrived (only ten minutes late -- birthday miracle), I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Really. Two hours of sitting, letting my hair fry and process, all while sweating out whatever toxins I had slugged the night before. Good idea, Angela. With only one trip to the bathroom to throw-up and giggles from my patient hairstylist, I survived. Then promptly returned home to throw up for the next seven hours. Happy birthday to me!

So why do I even tell you this story, you may ask? It certainly does not shed any charming light on me and God knows, I probably shouldn't let my young impressionable fans read this. However, I think it is very relatable, regardless of whether your post-fun-hangover was alcohol-induced, food-induced, what-have-you induced. We have all been there -- that night where you did something that was fun at the time, but had repercussions later. It is part of growing up, right? I realized, as I lay curled up in the fetal position watching terrible Jennifer Lopez chick flicks the next day, that I was in the midst of an important, if not disgusting, learning experience. Sure, the story is funny now, but it certainly wasn't funny when I threw up all of that Pepto Bismol. However, what are life's terrible moments if not educational?

Another year older and maybe none the wiser, but I spent the next day holding myself responsible for the mess I had created. I had to cancel my birthday dinner, couldn't make an appearance at a neighborhood party, and ultimately, didn't get to do anything I wanted to do that day, but I knew that I had only myself to blame. Throughout the past year, I think I have become better at holding myself to this same level of accountability and setting certain standards for myself. When I do something wrong, I need to admit it and I have been admitting it. If I wrong someone, I have been trying to find a way to make it right and genuinely apologize -- whether or not the recipient chooses to accept is something that I have to deal with as a consequence of my mistake in the first place and respect that. If I want other people to do this for me, then I owe it to them and vice versa. I should not hold people to standards that I wouldn't hold myself to. Maybe I still can't hold my liquor, but I am trying to mature and adopt this new self-awareness and responsibility that I know I had been lacking.

In this case, the one person I truly need to apologize to is to myself. I was really looking forward to taking my new pretty hair out on the town for a birthday dinner (with the roomies!) and the chance to celebrate with lots of food and dessert surrounded by my favorite neighbors. Also, I'm sorry that I watched that bad chick flick, I'll try to choose better next time.

In the Wake of My Post-Holiday Money Hangover

from someecards.com - so wise

If there was a Pepto Bismol that could cure the post-holiday money hangover, then I would need it. Maybe I should have taken my own advice and bought more budget-friendly gifts, or maybe I just need to have a budget. Period. Either way, I look at my bank account and wonder where did it all go wrong? I had good intentions. There were smiles on everyone's faces along the way. Yet, somehow, in the midst of my Christmas merriment and gift-giving haze, I left myself with an abysmal excuse for a bank account. Time to pick myself off of the proverbial bathroom floor, take two Advil and snap out of it.

Do I regret giving the gifts that I gave? Not necessarily. Like I've said before, there's nothing I enjoy more than giving gifts and watching my recipients' excited reactions. But at the same time, I realize that I am in this strange, strange place in regards to managing my money. On the one hand, I want to save my money. Isn't that why I have situated myself at home with the "roomies" for the time being? I wanted to give myself the opportunity to get myself in a better financial situation and prepare for post-life-with-the-parents. I've accumulated a decent amount of savings and even have a 401K started -- so maybe I'm not completely hopeless.

However, on the other hand, I have this uncontrollable urge to spend, spend, spend. Sure, you might be saying that I am a walking, talking, functional shopaholic, but I assure you, my desire to spend does not stem from the satisfying excitement of a new purchase (okay, maybe a little bit...) I think most of this wanting to spend -- especially on gifts for people -- comes from the fact that I have never had this sort of income before and can afford to do things and buy things. Yes, I am making an entry-level salary, but still, it sure beats getting paid minimum wage at the mall. For once, I have a steady income that allows me some wiggle room. I don't have to save up for months on end to buy one Abercrombie and Fitch shirt like I needed to when I was 14 years old. Instead, there are quite a few purchases that are within my reach, especially when you factor in a lack of major financial responsibilities. I have minimal bills to pay, since my "roomies" have been kind enough to let me crash at their place for a while, and because of that, I don't have to make the crucial decision between food for dinner and that little black dress I probably don't need.

But in this post-holiday-haze and with the approaching new year, I realize that if I want to become the adult I want to be, I should probably start by reflecting on my own spending habits. In the end, I know it is a matter of moderation: living within my means, making smart choices, putting money away to save, etc. and whatever else that gal Suze Orman suggests. However, I recognize (and you should too) that it is okay to spend some of that money you're working so hard for (and yes, that includes the hard work you put into making your boss coffee or copying hundreds of documents for hours on end.) Why have money if you're not necessarily going to use it? If you're like me, you're twenty-something and craving a bit of fun and adventure, but unfortunately, many fun and adventurous things and activities require a bit of money. So what? Plan in advance, put a little money aside, and go for it. Don't feel guilty.

I think part of being an adult is being able to recognize when spending money is worth it and when saving money is worth it. Saving money, for me, is worth it when you have an end goal in sight -- an apartment, a vacation, a car, retirement, etc. I don't think I'd be able to put as much money away if I didn't constantly think about having that particular dream apartment or going on an exotic getaway and reminding myself that it will be worth it. However, spending money is okay too -- and good for the economy! Splurge on things that you love and will last, but also realize that little things like a candy bar or nail polish can satisfy that urge to treat yourself to something special (and honestly, what is better than a Reese's Cup or Milky Way?)

It is all another one of life's great lessons and finding a balance between being a Scrooge and being an absolute money pushover. I don't think I can commit to balancing budgets as my new year's resolution -- I want something realistic and with less of a learning curve. However, I think being aware of what I'm spending my money on and why is the first step to getting my finances in order and lessening the blow of all of those big purchases. In the mean time, I will be determinedly gathering my funds together for some sort of expensive pair of shoes. A girl can dream...

How to Make Friends

Friendships: an important component of our lives from the very first day we meet someone who is neither imaginary (sorry folks) nor our parents. Once we hit school-days, we go on a friend binge -- suddenly, every person you meet has the potential to be your "best friend forever," a phenomenon that happens regardless of whether you're in first grade or a freshman in college. It seems as though every time you enter a new phase in your education, you're faced with the prospect of new friend-making. These people would be your "elementary school friends", your "middle school friends" and then even your "high school friends". Of course, there was overlap if you stayed in one place for your whole life or if many of your friends went on to the same secondary school with you, but each time, you were creating your inner-circle.

 The same thing happened when we went to college. Just think about freshmen orientation, for example: you participate in icebreakers, learn too much about everyone in your group, and then are encouraged to meet as many people as possible in your first few weeks of school with the countless numbers of activities being held for you and your fellow college peons. It is a phase of binge friend-making -- sometimes these friends stick, sometimes they don't, but regardless, within four years, you have now added a group of "college friends" to your relationship repertoire. But outside of these friendship-forging institutions, is there room for new groups of friends?

I constantly think about this as someone who admittedly loves to meet new people, go on first dates and strike up conversations with strangers. How do I integrate these new people into my lives? Is there more room for me in their life that is already divided into "home/high school friends" and "college friends?" Sure, some might say "the more the merrier," but when your loyalties have been to these groups for so long already, is there a way to add your new post-grad friends to the mix? And even more to think about: how do I meet someone and let it be known that I want them to be my new, adult friend?

It may seem silly to think about, but it's not like dating. You meet someone at a bar, it's clear that you two have some sort of attraction, and then you go on a date. Can this happen for making friends? I like the concept of a "friend-date" in theory, but that doesn't mean that the person I want to "friend-date" is going to like it as well -- and more so, they'll probably think I'm a weirdo. But why can't this happen? Essentially, you could meet someone at work, at a bar, in line for coffee, and hit it off. Sure, it isn't romantic chemistry, but it is a sort of friend chemistry, the one where you bond over something and realize that you've developed some sort of rhythm that could translate into a potential friendship. Then what? Can I ask that person to hang out? I feel as though most people would think I am hitting on them -- regardless of gender. 

Don't get me wrong, I have made some friends since graduating, and it did happen organically. Although, I will admit, these were all work-relationships at first. For example, my time spent in retail was made exponentially better by my fellow mall-slaves. We all happened to be the same age, started chatting and took our work-relationship outside of our fish-bowl enclave in the mall and to a restaurant for after dinner drinks. We realized that "hey, this is fun!" so we did it again and eventually we had developed a new friend group -- work friends (despite the fact that few of us actually work there anymore).

But outside of work, how do you do it? I feel like it can be inevitable to befriend someone at your job out of the sheer fact that you spend so much time there and it makes the work experience better. However, friendship can be created outside of the cubicle walls, and how do you take it to the next level -- from well-acquainted stranger to new pals? 

Sometimes I feel like it can be difficult to do this, since people do have many of their friendships in place. Heck, most people already have their best friend set and secured by the time they're ten years old -- how is a new person supposed to weave their way into your life when there is seemingly little to no apparent vacancy? I guess you could counter all of this by saying that if someone wants to be your friend, it will happen and I don't need to go around having this existential friendship crisis, but presumably, people have certain friend roles already filled at a certain point: the best friend role is usually taken early on, as well as all of those other token friend spots (your go-to shopping friend, your go-to partying friend, etc.). Is it even possible for a new friend to have an important role in your life if those roles were given to earlier friends based on longevity? Can someone you just meet have the potential to be a best friend -- even if you don't have years of loyalty (yet)? Similarly, is it possible to become part of an already established friend group, or will you always feel like an outsider?

After all, as post-grads, we're (most likely) in our twenties and that means that we have years and years ahead of us. This also means that we are going to meet many more people in our lifetime and add some more friends to our circle. We are hopefully a bit more wise than we were in years before and are also better equipped to choose our friends and weed out the frenemies. What do you think about making friends as a post-grad? I realize that this post provides more questions and speculation than answers, but I think these questions are all valid. Sure, maybe this all sounds like I'm a whiny loner and am incapable of socializing (this would explain why I have a blog). However, I'm excited about the prospect of adding more friends to my life as I survive the post-grad years. Is it okay for me to apply my skills of "seduction" to the realm of friend-making -- modifying my flirtation to imply a wanted friendship (I know how creepy that sounds)?  Or am I just over-thinking it and need to let things happen organically? I'm assuming I should go with the latter, but given that a friendship is agreed upon, will I ever be able to hold an important role in that person's life as a new friend?

Alright, alright. Enough with my questions, I know. With all of this over-analysis and mumbo-jumbo, I will leave you with this:

Winter Whites & Budget Blues

‘Tis the season for empty wallets, family feuding and broken dreams – otherwise known as the winter holiday season for post-grads. Alright, I realize that may sound a bit overdramatic (typical for me, am I right?), but when you’ve just started paying back your student loans, attempting to move out and battling with bills, Christmas time becomes serious crunch time.

Gift-giving has never been easy on your wallet; as a student, the main concern was schoolwork rather than making bank and parading around town like Santa Claus come December. Yet now, as a post-grad in an entry-level job, is it that much easier? For those of you who are privileged with cushy jobs and fat paychecks, maybe it is easier. But for what I’m assuming is the majority (and maybe that will make an ass out of “u” and “me”), we’re stuck in that place in between affordable and overwhelming.  Ideally, at this point, we’re getting consistent paychecks that does make gift-giving possible. However, at the same time, we’re dealing with real-life costs: rent, bills, groceries, insurance, etc, for presumably the first time. When you’re forking over a couple of hundred dollars for your student loans on top of everything else, how do you budget Christmas?

I know that when I first started getting a regular paycheck, I was excited about the prospect of the holidays and finally being able to give the sort of gifts I wanted to give. Despite the over-commercialized force-fed obligation to buy gifts that advertisements and department stores may seem to demand of us, I find myself enjoying gift-giving. With Christmas, I meticulously mull over what to buy my decided recipients. Most of the time, I find it difficult to keep my mouth shut about what I buy people because I’m so excited to give them their gift (this is true for all other times of the year – birthdays and random gift occasions included – I strangely love gift-giving) with a tendency to blurt out the surprise ahead of time (oops). That is how gift-giving is supposed to make you feel. It certainly isn’t supposed to stress you out. Friends and family members understand that money may be tight, especially since most people are doing their own penny-pinching these days.

Because I know that we all want to make sure to include our best friends and family members on the “nice” list this year, I think it helps to get creative when giving gifts. I find that there are ways to make Christmas budget-friendly while still being able to feel as though you gave something thoughtful to those you love the most. Some of my favorite ideas are below:

• Memories in gift-form:  I find that the gifts I love the most are the ones that reflect the amount of careful consideration given by the gift-giver (awwww). Why not remind your loved-ones of your favorite memories with them? Whether this is by making them a picture collage or picture book, framing one special picture of a favorite moment, this gift will show that you want to remember that time at a baseball game or that night out dancing together – and reflect just how much you want to preserve that memory. For Mother’s Day last year, I gave my mom a picture book of our family vacation to Puerto Rico, coming in under $30. It’s something my family takes out again and again to share with friends and to remember our vacation. Finding a way to compile your photos (there are plenty of frames with space for multiple photos, or try a shadow-box to add additional saved mementos) makes for a great way to remember good times and do something budget-friendly. Plus, your recipient will have a picture of you -- let your inner-narcissist run wild.
• Throw a party: Okay, so technically this isn’t a typical gift and II know that you’re thinking – “I have a tiny apartment!” or “Parties are expensive!” I can assure you, a party can be had just about anywhere or just about any budget. Throwing a party is a great way to get everyone together and give them a time to remember (and take a photo to later put in a frame for next year’s gift!) In lieu of a tangible gift, you’re giving people the gift of FUN -- and who doesn’t like that? To keep things inexpensive, ask people to BYOB (naturally…who can afford to keep a bunch of 20-somethings liquored up?) and take either an appetizer or dessert. Of course, you should provide a few snacks and non-alcoholic beverages, but hit up a local grocery store, and you can get all of those things for a low-price. Getting everyone together usually is a sure-fire way to have fun and spend time with the people you love the most – the thing is, few people rarely like to step up and host a party. Be that person! You can never have enough FUN with your best friends, so why not provide your friends with a good time and have them looking forward to making this an annual thing.
• Gift-giving games: I wish I had the budget to give gifts to every single one of my friends, but unfortunately, that just isn’t realistic. Until I hit the jackpot, I find that a great alternative is to host and participate in gift-giving games. This can be combined with my prior suggestion of throwing a party. Have everyone participate in something like a Secret Santa or a Yankee Swap (you can Google the rules -- or check out this site: http://www.secretsanta.com/). Set a limit on how much participants should spend. Since you only have to buy one gift as opposed to multiple, you can choose a price that works for you and the rest of the group participating. You’ll have just as much fun picking out a silly gift as you will exchanging with your friends. Again, we’re all about making memories (sappy, I know) so what you may sacrifice in number of presents you make up for in laughs (even sappier.)
• Give the gift of time: Honestly, this might be my favorite gift idea because it’s a win-win for everyone involved (assuming the person you give this “gift” to actually likes you and enjoys spending time with you.) Because everyone is so busy all the time, what is more valuable than time? Invite your grandma out for a one-on-one brunch or tell your best friend that you want to have a girls’ night in with your favorite movies and wine. I get that this might seem lame because you can’t necessarily wrap this up with a bow on it, but this is a gift you both can benefit from. Your friend/family member will feel special because you put in the the time and effort to plan something specifically for them, and you will get to be with someone you care about. Sure, you could get someone a gift card, but what’s the use of having $25 to IHOP if you’re not sharing a triple-decker stack of pancakes with someone you love? Ultimately, the best moments are those shared with friends and family -- get into the spirit of Christmas, people! Show people you love them not by giving them thoughtless gifts, but by giving them your most valuable asset: time. You only have so much of it per day, so choose an afternoon/night and make it all about being with them. Assuming your friend is not Scrooge, I think they will appreciate it.

So start jingling your bells, laughing merrily along the way and spreading Christmas cheer without getting charge an overdraft fee this year. When you’re focusing on the real meaning of the holidays -- being with the ones you love and allowing yourself to eat obnoxious amount of holiday-themed treats (naturally) -- you will actually be able to enjoy it. Plus, you will be able to avoid crazed mall crowds and whining children. And remember, every time a bell rings, you should down some more spiked eggnog.

Is that how the saying goes?

Also … enjoy this Christmas song. It ends with a twist on Toto’s “Africa.” Yes, I am serious, and yes, you will love it.

All We Need Is Just a Little Patience... Right?

im·pa·tience

  [im-pey-shuh ns]  Show IPA

noun

1.

lack of patience.

2.

eager desire for relief or change; restlessness.

3.

intolerance of anything that thwarts, delays, or hinders.

In today's society, everything is a click/push/(insert onomatopoetic verb here) away. Every song and book you could ever want can be purchased and downloaded within a few seconds. Tired of those pesky kids asking how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Google it and instantly be enlightened (although... they only offer a range -- the world may still never know). Information travels faster than the speed of light, so it's only natural that the expectation of instant gratification would trickle down into the psyche of post-graduates. As much as we might be fooled by the false sense of appeasement and comfort that instant gratification offers us in other situations, we most certainly cannot expect for success to follow as "instantly" or immediately upon graduation day. Should we be discouraged by this in the midst of everything else being accessible within minutes and seconds? Or should we settle for a certain degree of complacency that is required to "pay our dues?"

I often find myself wondering if  I should quiet my inner-restlessness in the name of patience. I recognize that as a recent graduate that I am going to have to "pay my dues" so to speak. To me, this means getting an entry-level job that doesn't necessarily satisfy all of requisites for a dream career and job environment. In fact, by this definition, it means that I might (and most likely will) have to take a job that I don't like or isn't "perfect" just to get some experience. While gaining this important work experience, should I be patient, bide my time, give it a year or two, and then get back out there? Or should I continue to let that restlessness grumble until it becomes a full-on roar?

I think what I'm trying to get at is that it's hard to silence the part of you that wants to have the dream career immediately, which can make it difficult to accept that you're going to have to settle at first. However, I think this isn't a bad thing per se -- in fact, it can be motivating. If a part of you is never complacent, then you're actively trying to make good things happen for yourself and if you're always trying, it's gotta happen eventually, right? One would hope.

Despite this impatience for "the dream career," I think it's important to recognize that you do still need to focus on the "right now." You can't always wish your current life away, impatient for what's going to come next and for your life to start. Fact of the matter is, your life is happening right now, and the key is to make the best of it right now. This doesn't mean that you can't prepare for the next chapter, but there are lessons to be learned and mistakes to be made (cliche, yes, I know, wah wah) In truth, this sort of patience is required so that you can gain valuable life experience from doing something that you simply don't want to do or aren't entirely interested in. By "settling" for now, you do learn something about yourself and what you want out of your next job and even out of life in general. Life is full of things that will happen to you that you just don't like or that isn't what you wanted, but you have to learn how to deal with them -- that's what makes you grow as a person. In the mean time, we can use that dissatisfaction and restlessness to motivate us and to focus on how to take the step towards something that will meet more of our credentials.

There needs to be some sort of merging of both extremes and both ends of the spectrum. It's time to find the middle man, use our desire for change and life to get moving to actually get moving and, at the same time, recognize that it is going to take hard work, self-realization and just a bit of patience (and maybe even luck) to make the step towards something great and better.

The Post-Grad Dating Dilemma

After approximately four years of living in a residence hall of some sort (give or take a semester or two), surrounded by a plethora of your peers, living in the happy-go-lucky college bubble, the concept of dating, for recent grads, has been completely distorted. In fact, if you think about it, we haven't even needed to participate in the whole dating ritual. All of our dating options have lived comfortably next door to us, down the hall, or just a hop, skip and a jump away for the last few years, making the dating process null and void, and essentially obsolete...

That is, until we graduated. What happens then? How does one meet a potential boyfriend/girlfriend when they're not served to you on a silver platter: attending a program your RA plans, assigned to work on a group project with you, or roommates with one of your friends? Cue the panic. 

The dilemma that we, as recent grads face, is a very real one. Within two weeks of being a college freshman, I had a boyfriend. I plopped down in my sociology class, was forced to introduce myself to the guy next to me as part of some sort of activity, and then voila! Two weeks later, I had myself a full-fledged relationship with the greatest distance between us being the freshman quad. Does this sort of event happen outside of the college bubble? Eh, perhaps, but those people are generally crazy and shouldn't be trusted (just kidding...sorta). The truth is -- it doesn't -- and it's even worse when recent grads don't know where to begin. We haven't had to participate in the dating dance that post-grad life requires in order to meet a new person. Heck, you don't even really need to put that much effort into meeting someone and getting a phone number when you're in college. Chances are, you're already Facebook friends with that pseudo-hipster who just hit on you at the dining hall.

What's a gal to do when she finds herself with a lack of tricks up her sleeve, ill-equipped to handle the challenges that come with actually needing to engage in awkward small talk and make a move on a guy at a bar/concert/bookstore/anywhere? While I am by no means an expert in dating (although, I have had my fair share of meet cutes -- more on that another time), I suppose I can outline a few tips for the especially hopeless.

• Get used to making small talk with strangers: I get that this can be extremely uncomfortable for self-proclaimed introverts and people who lack social skills. However, if you want to meet people, you're going to have to talk to them. Unfortunately, most people don't possess telepathic powers, and therefore, you are going to have to resort to old-fashioned face-to-face conversation.

• Just start talking about anything... relevant: My general strategy for starting conversations with people is to be opportunistic. I have started many a conversation with someone while standing at a bar -- you're there getting drinks as are they (presumably), and while you're waiting for the bartender to get you that  embarrassing pink drink you just ordered, you might as well chat someone up. Case in point, I was standing at a bar once to order a drink and the guy next to me said that he had been there longer than me. Being the sassy gal that I am, I decided to respond with a simple "I bet you he'll serve me first," which opened the flood gates. Comment on his drink, the fact that he's double-fisting two Cosmos, or even that Psy's "Gangnam Style" is on and some old creepy guy is attempting to dance to it -- anything. If he wishes to engage in this interaction, he will. If he doesn't want to? You're already drinking -- order yourself another one and move on.

• Don't take everything so seriously - this is dating, not a colonoscopy: I've heard the same complaints from my friends: "But dating can be so awkward!" They then proceed to pick out several outfits, over-analyze text messages and revert to 7th grade ways (i.e. "So, I saw this guy I liked. I think he's cute. He smiled at me the other day, but then today he didn't say hi or even look at me. Why didn't he say hi to me today?!" or better yet, "I can't talk to him first. Maybe I should chat with him on Facebook instead?") Let's be real, ladies and gentleman, dating is supposed to be fun. If someone likes you, great! If not, whatever, who's next (new blog title?!). Not everyone is going to like you, but when you find someone that does, don't stress out about it. There's nothing worse than someone who's got sweat stains BEFORE the date even begins.  Relax. Have fun. Remember what a date actually is? Oh, you don't? Well, let me tell you...Prior to a date, both parties have, to a certain extent, expressed romantic interest in the opposing party. When this interest is made clear, a date is planned, and both parties attend the date in order to gain more information to determine whether subsequent dates should follow (as deemed necessary) and also to determine whether this opposing party could be a potential match for a romantic relationship. You go on your first date, and if you both have fun and want to know more about the other person, you go on a second date (novel idea, right?) If the second date isn't as successful, you don't go on a third date. If the second date is successful, you go on a third date. Revolutionary -- lather, rinse, repeat = relationship. It doesn't need to be so gosh darn stressful. I get that feelings can muddy things (damn those emotions), but you need to keep things in perspective. If you adopt a relatively carefree attitude, you won't come off as desperate, needy and flat-out annoying. Would you want to date someone who  exhibited any of those qualities? No. (Sorry, no offense)

• Go on a real date: This is probably most important for people making the dating transition from college to real life (yes -- REAL LIFE). A real date does not include (and is not limited to): group outings, sitting in at someone's parents' house watching TV, Skype, etc. The point of a date is to evaluate this person's compability with you. You need to go out (just you two) somewhere that enables you to learn about the other person. Whether this learning experience happens over dinner and a movie, rock-climbing, attending a concert, going to a museum -- I don't care! There just needs to be the opportunity for good old-fashioned getting to know each other. Yes, a date can happen at a bar, but I would say that it is helpful to be able to hear what the other person is saying. A successful date occurs when you are able to go home later that night, know the person's last name, and know something about the type of person you just spent the last X hours with: what their interests are, what some of their goals are, what they like/dislike, their blood type (just kidding, don't ask them that) -- essentially, what makes them tick. What do you need to know about a person to determine whether you want to spend more time with them or not; whether you like them or not? Figure those things out, and then find it out on your date. It doesn't need to be philosophical, but go somewhere and do something that will reveal more about the person you've decided to go out with.

• You are a pretty cool person, and if someone doesn't want to date you, so be it: Of course, this is far easier said than done, but essentially, why waste your time with someone who doesn't recognize that you're an amazing person just as you are? The world's population is inching closer and closer to seven billion people every day (I just Googled it to double check), and you're hung up on ONE person who "is just not that into you"? You don't have time for that. You're too busy being awesome. Move on and find someone cuter (or maybe just more compatible).

There you have it. Some of the basics for post-grad life according to someone who has been unsuccessful in love thus far (eh, actually, that's debatable -- ask my boyfriend?). Maybe that diminishes all of my credibility -- but does it, really? I've been on countless dates, good and bad, but the fact is, I have dated outside of college. I've done it. It's worked! Eureka! What's even more miraculous about all of this? Despite some of the failed dates, missed connections, breakups and what have you, I still live to tell the tale -- and the thing is, you will too. So even if you have a bad date, keep trucking along. Eventually it will work out.

Eventually.

Life with My "Roomies"

I always find myself telling people stories about my roommates. I have two roommates -- and they're pretty fun, as well as also being helpful, generous and smart. One of my favorite anecdotes I like to share is the one where I found my two roommates spooning in my living room while watching the Kardashians. To most people, this seems odd. Not just because people still actually watch the Kardashians, but because I walked in on my roommates spooning. Frankly, I'm glad that walking in on them spooning is the most intimacy I've had to witness. For those of you who are uninformed of my current living arrangements  I will admit it: I live with my parents.

This living arrangement is one that's met with divided reaction, by the general public and myself alike. Society has ingrained into us that once you're done with school - whether it be high school or higher education - you now must move out and forge an independent life in separate living quarters from your parents or guardians. In doing this, you have made the complete transition into adulthood and can now embark on that adult life free of supervision, curfews and your mom folding your underwear. Unfortunately, with the current economic climate and the overwhelming necessity for student loans, this rite of passage is being delayed by many fellow  post-grad adults. How are we expected to afford to live in an apartment paying hundreds of dollars (assuming you can find roommates) when you've also got hundreds of dollars going towards that education of yours -- you've got the diploma stashed away somewhere under your bed to prove it, I bet?

The fact of the matter is: many of us can't. I know that I certainly can't afford to pay for rent with my entry-level income, let alone furnish that shabby apartment, drive a car and pay off any accumulated debt. What about food, you may ask? Forget that. My private college education fed my soul, so certainly, that should be enough to keep my hunger at bay. What about having a social life -- it does cost to go out, you know? Well, if I can't get free drinks, then I'll just have to be satisfied with a non-existent social life because I can't afford a $10 cover charge and a $10 beer. 

I realize that this may seem overdramatic. And to a certain extent, it is. Plenty of recent grads find a way to make it work and thrive, even with a limited budget. However, I find myself asking the following question (and I know many other people have asked the same thing) as a twenty-something living in her childhood home: does living with our parents stunt our transition into adulthood or can it be seen as a very strategic, adult decision being that it is fiscally responsible?

My life at home is pretty cushy, I will admit. My parents don't charge me rent or ask me to pay for food. My mom still does my laundry and packs me a lunch for work (the shame is overwhelming even as a type this). My dad will bring my car to get gas if I'm feeling too lazy (although, I do give him money to pay for it!) or pick up a prescription for me at CVS. And on top of all of that, they're fun to be around. I go out to dinner with them, we watch TV together, and we share many a laugh over the funny things that my dog does. But in the midst of all of this, I wonder if I am regressing towards my childish ways.

I have a full-time job equipped with benefits and a 401K. I commute into Boston (about 1.5 hours each way). I have to navigate around my own schedule, balancing work, running my errands, seeing friends, etc. But that still doesn't mitigate the reality that I am living with my parents. I am not embarrassed that I live with my parents, though. Since graduating last December, I have saved up a considerable amount of money and have been able to contribute more money towards paying off my car loan. I am trying to set myself up to be successful once I do leave the nest, so that I don't have to come fumbling back, hands outstretched begging for money and for my mom to separate my lights and darks.

I like to think that I am still facing adult problems and have an adult life -- but it is a modified version of the stereotypical post-grad life of ten, even five years ago, when jobs were a guarantee post-college and debt wasn't necessarily so overwhelming. I do want to move out of my house eventually, but I want to do so at a time where I feel as though I am more financially stable. Does that make me childish? Or does that mean I am making an adult and responsible decision?

For now, I'm going to enjoy the perks of living at home and continuing to save my money as I prepare for my next big adult steps. I might as well enjoy it while I can and savor this special "roommate" time. Besides, I'm pretty sure my "roommates" love having me home: who doesn't love to do an extra load of laundry!