Reconciling My Wants with My Wallet

http://shoppingonline230.wordpress.com/2012/11/08/online-shopping-memes/

It’s your traditional tale of head versus heart – two foes often at battle with each other, generally over matters of romance, friendship, pursuing life’s passions and risks. The rational, logical side of you engages in a tango with the emotional, passionate side, only to leave you with a list of pros and cons and perhaps an incurable headache. For me, these days, these two formidable opponents have been tangled up in what seems to be a never-ending struggle for me: saving money.

Every time I go to check my bank account, I trepidatiously view the numbers and then have either one of two reactions: 1.) a mixture of surprise and relief at how little I spent in between paychecks or, more often than not, 2.) disappointment and guilt. How did I get to that number? Where did my money go? As I mentally comb through each purchase or payment, I wonder if some of them were really necessary.

Endless hours browsing through fashion blogs, Pinterest and my favorite shopping cites leave me foaming at the mouth, hands trembling above the “place order” button as I justify purchasing yet another pair of shoes. My email inbox is filled with my favorite stores notifying me of their scorching sales or of how my favorite items are selling fast – tempting, teasing, taunting. Once the few bills I have are paid, I am left to decide whether to save my money or spend it. Though the logical side of me (and my bank statement) may push me to save, the emotional and fashion-hungry side of me pushes me to spend.

I suppose this is the challenge that comes with having a big-girl salary for the first time in my life. After all, this isn’t the first time I’ve blogged about the budget blues and I suspect that this won’t be the last. I still struggle with reconciling all of these wants with my wallet and lately, I find that it has been more difficult than usual as I have too much time to browse and window-shop. For the most part, I tend to veer towards being more responsible with my money, but every now and then, I get caught up in satisfying that want. With social media’s over-exposure to the “latest,” “newest” and “trendiest” of things in conjunction with a personal affection for fashion and style blogs, I have to remind myself of all of the things I currently have and all of the financial goals I have for later, such as: paying off my car loan and moving into an apartment. These things will probably be more satisfying in the long run than the immediate satisfaction of a new pair of shoes or splurging on a fancy dinner, but it can be difficult to see that when taking a walk through Nordstrom or viewing a killer sale on Shopbop.

So how do I tame my “wants” in an effort to protect my wallet? I’m hoping that some new changes to my life and its schedule (more on that later) will fill my daily activity with more productivity and less idle-time for browsing, which generally causes me to fall prey to making a trip to the mall or to being ensnared by online shopping. Maybe I can even get rid of some of those emails from shopping sites I frequent so that my inbox isn't littered with justifications on another purchase (why be tempted?) I’ve also tried to keep a running “shopping list:” things that I want to add to my closet and/or need (such as specific toiletries) so that when I go to the mall or to a place like CVS, I can stick to buying only things that I’ve rendered essential beforehand to cut down on impulse purchases (because I really don’t need five crop tops, do I?) So I guess that leaves us all wondering: will it work? Who knows-- check back in a few months to see if my wallet is overflowing as opposed to my closet.  Stranger things have happened, right?

In the Wake of My Post-Holiday Money Hangover

from someecards.com - so wise

If there was a Pepto Bismol that could cure the post-holiday money hangover, then I would need it. Maybe I should have taken my own advice and bought more budget-friendly gifts, or maybe I just need to have a budget. Period. Either way, I look at my bank account and wonder where did it all go wrong? I had good intentions. There were smiles on everyone's faces along the way. Yet, somehow, in the midst of my Christmas merriment and gift-giving haze, I left myself with an abysmal excuse for a bank account. Time to pick myself off of the proverbial bathroom floor, take two Advil and snap out of it.

Do I regret giving the gifts that I gave? Not necessarily. Like I've said before, there's nothing I enjoy more than giving gifts and watching my recipients' excited reactions. But at the same time, I realize that I am in this strange, strange place in regards to managing my money. On the one hand, I want to save my money. Isn't that why I have situated myself at home with the "roomies" for the time being? I wanted to give myself the opportunity to get myself in a better financial situation and prepare for post-life-with-the-parents. I've accumulated a decent amount of savings and even have a 401K started -- so maybe I'm not completely hopeless.

However, on the other hand, I have this uncontrollable urge to spend, spend, spend. Sure, you might be saying that I am a walking, talking, functional shopaholic, but I assure you, my desire to spend does not stem from the satisfying excitement of a new purchase (okay, maybe a little bit...) I think most of this wanting to spend -- especially on gifts for people -- comes from the fact that I have never had this sort of income before and can afford to do things and buy things. Yes, I am making an entry-level salary, but still, it sure beats getting paid minimum wage at the mall. For once, I have a steady income that allows me some wiggle room. I don't have to save up for months on end to buy one Abercrombie and Fitch shirt like I needed to when I was 14 years old. Instead, there are quite a few purchases that are within my reach, especially when you factor in a lack of major financial responsibilities. I have minimal bills to pay, since my "roomies" have been kind enough to let me crash at their place for a while, and because of that, I don't have to make the crucial decision between food for dinner and that little black dress I probably don't need.

But in this post-holiday-haze and with the approaching new year, I realize that if I want to become the adult I want to be, I should probably start by reflecting on my own spending habits. In the end, I know it is a matter of moderation: living within my means, making smart choices, putting money away to save, etc. and whatever else that gal Suze Orman suggests. However, I recognize (and you should too) that it is okay to spend some of that money you're working so hard for (and yes, that includes the hard work you put into making your boss coffee or copying hundreds of documents for hours on end.) Why have money if you're not necessarily going to use it? If you're like me, you're twenty-something and craving a bit of fun and adventure, but unfortunately, many fun and adventurous things and activities require a bit of money. So what? Plan in advance, put a little money aside, and go for it. Don't feel guilty.

I think part of being an adult is being able to recognize when spending money is worth it and when saving money is worth it. Saving money, for me, is worth it when you have an end goal in sight -- an apartment, a vacation, a car, retirement, etc. I don't think I'd be able to put as much money away if I didn't constantly think about having that particular dream apartment or going on an exotic getaway and reminding myself that it will be worth it. However, spending money is okay too -- and good for the economy! Splurge on things that you love and will last, but also realize that little things like a candy bar or nail polish can satisfy that urge to treat yourself to something special (and honestly, what is better than a Reese's Cup or Milky Way?)

It is all another one of life's great lessons and finding a balance between being a Scrooge and being an absolute money pushover. I don't think I can commit to balancing budgets as my new year's resolution -- I want something realistic and with less of a learning curve. However, I think being aware of what I'm spending my money on and why is the first step to getting my finances in order and lessening the blow of all of those big purchases. In the mean time, I will be determinedly gathering my funds together for some sort of expensive pair of shoes. A girl can dream...

Life with My "Roomies"

I always find myself telling people stories about my roommates. I have two roommates -- and they're pretty fun, as well as also being helpful, generous and smart. One of my favorite anecdotes I like to share is the one where I found my two roommates spooning in my living room while watching the Kardashians. To most people, this seems odd. Not just because people still actually watch the Kardashians, but because I walked in on my roommates spooning. Frankly, I'm glad that walking in on them spooning is the most intimacy I've had to witness. For those of you who are uninformed of my current living arrangements  I will admit it: I live with my parents.

This living arrangement is one that's met with divided reaction, by the general public and myself alike. Society has ingrained into us that once you're done with school - whether it be high school or higher education - you now must move out and forge an independent life in separate living quarters from your parents or guardians. In doing this, you have made the complete transition into adulthood and can now embark on that adult life free of supervision, curfews and your mom folding your underwear. Unfortunately, with the current economic climate and the overwhelming necessity for student loans, this rite of passage is being delayed by many fellow  post-grad adults. How are we expected to afford to live in an apartment paying hundreds of dollars (assuming you can find roommates) when you've also got hundreds of dollars going towards that education of yours -- you've got the diploma stashed away somewhere under your bed to prove it, I bet?

The fact of the matter is: many of us can't. I know that I certainly can't afford to pay for rent with my entry-level income, let alone furnish that shabby apartment, drive a car and pay off any accumulated debt. What about food, you may ask? Forget that. My private college education fed my soul, so certainly, that should be enough to keep my hunger at bay. What about having a social life -- it does cost to go out, you know? Well, if I can't get free drinks, then I'll just have to be satisfied with a non-existent social life because I can't afford a $10 cover charge and a $10 beer. 

I realize that this may seem overdramatic. And to a certain extent, it is. Plenty of recent grads find a way to make it work and thrive, even with a limited budget. However, I find myself asking the following question (and I know many other people have asked the same thing) as a twenty-something living in her childhood home: does living with our parents stunt our transition into adulthood or can it be seen as a very strategic, adult decision being that it is fiscally responsible?

My life at home is pretty cushy, I will admit. My parents don't charge me rent or ask me to pay for food. My mom still does my laundry and packs me a lunch for work (the shame is overwhelming even as a type this). My dad will bring my car to get gas if I'm feeling too lazy (although, I do give him money to pay for it!) or pick up a prescription for me at CVS. And on top of all of that, they're fun to be around. I go out to dinner with them, we watch TV together, and we share many a laugh over the funny things that my dog does. But in the midst of all of this, I wonder if I am regressing towards my childish ways.

I have a full-time job equipped with benefits and a 401K. I commute into Boston (about 1.5 hours each way). I have to navigate around my own schedule, balancing work, running my errands, seeing friends, etc. But that still doesn't mitigate the reality that I am living with my parents. I am not embarrassed that I live with my parents, though. Since graduating last December, I have saved up a considerable amount of money and have been able to contribute more money towards paying off my car loan. I am trying to set myself up to be successful once I do leave the nest, so that I don't have to come fumbling back, hands outstretched begging for money and for my mom to separate my lights and darks.

I like to think that I am still facing adult problems and have an adult life -- but it is a modified version of the stereotypical post-grad life of ten, even five years ago, when jobs were a guarantee post-college and debt wasn't necessarily so overwhelming. I do want to move out of my house eventually, but I want to do so at a time where I feel as though I am more financially stable. Does that make me childish? Or does that mean I am making an adult and responsible decision?

For now, I'm going to enjoy the perks of living at home and continuing to save my money as I prepare for my next big adult steps. I might as well enjoy it while I can and savor this special "roommate" time. Besides, I'm pretty sure my "roommates" love having me home: who doesn't love to do an extra load of laundry!