All We Need Is Just a Little Patience... Right?

im·pa·tience

  [im-pey-shuh ns]  Show IPA

noun

1.

lack of patience.

2.

eager desire for relief or change; restlessness.

3.

intolerance of anything that thwarts, delays, or hinders.

In today's society, everything is a click/push/(insert onomatopoetic verb here) away. Every song and book you could ever want can be purchased and downloaded within a few seconds. Tired of those pesky kids asking how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Google it and instantly be enlightened (although... they only offer a range -- the world may still never know). Information travels faster than the speed of light, so it's only natural that the expectation of instant gratification would trickle down into the psyche of post-graduates. As much as we might be fooled by the false sense of appeasement and comfort that instant gratification offers us in other situations, we most certainly cannot expect for success to follow as "instantly" or immediately upon graduation day. Should we be discouraged by this in the midst of everything else being accessible within minutes and seconds? Or should we settle for a certain degree of complacency that is required to "pay our dues?"

I often find myself wondering if  I should quiet my inner-restlessness in the name of patience. I recognize that as a recent graduate that I am going to have to "pay my dues" so to speak. To me, this means getting an entry-level job that doesn't necessarily satisfy all of requisites for a dream career and job environment. In fact, by this definition, it means that I might (and most likely will) have to take a job that I don't like or isn't "perfect" just to get some experience. While gaining this important work experience, should I be patient, bide my time, give it a year or two, and then get back out there? Or should I continue to let that restlessness grumble until it becomes a full-on roar?

I think what I'm trying to get at is that it's hard to silence the part of you that wants to have the dream career immediately, which can make it difficult to accept that you're going to have to settle at first. However, I think this isn't a bad thing per se -- in fact, it can be motivating. If a part of you is never complacent, then you're actively trying to make good things happen for yourself and if you're always trying, it's gotta happen eventually, right? One would hope.

Despite this impatience for "the dream career," I think it's important to recognize that you do still need to focus on the "right now." You can't always wish your current life away, impatient for what's going to come next and for your life to start. Fact of the matter is, your life is happening right now, and the key is to make the best of it right now. This doesn't mean that you can't prepare for the next chapter, but there are lessons to be learned and mistakes to be made (cliche, yes, I know, wah wah) In truth, this sort of patience is required so that you can gain valuable life experience from doing something that you simply don't want to do or aren't entirely interested in. By "settling" for now, you do learn something about yourself and what you want out of your next job and even out of life in general. Life is full of things that will happen to you that you just don't like or that isn't what you wanted, but you have to learn how to deal with them -- that's what makes you grow as a person. In the mean time, we can use that dissatisfaction and restlessness to motivate us and to focus on how to take the step towards something that will meet more of our credentials.

There needs to be some sort of merging of both extremes and both ends of the spectrum. It's time to find the middle man, use our desire for change and life to get moving to actually get moving and, at the same time, recognize that it is going to take hard work, self-realization and just a bit of patience (and maybe even luck) to make the step towards something great and better.

Choosing a Path

Today, I had a few brief, but very poignant conversations with two different friends (at two different, unrelated times) about figuring out one’s path in life. I realize this sounds incredibly philosophical, which might deter half of my readers (leaving me with a fraction of a human being), but I assure you, despite however philosophical it might seem, I guarantee it is a subconscious question posed to yourself every day.

With friend one, the question was not even trying to be deep or insightful -- the topic of “figuring out one’s path” blossomed from simple, polite, small talk. You know the kind: “Hi, how are you?” and “How’s your job?” This, inevitably, will be answered either with “The job is great -- I love it!” as a way to placate your partner in conversation and steer them onto a more interesting topic (unless your job is really interesting) OR, if you’re like me, you will be brutally honest and respond with “It’s boring. Hate my commute. I need to find something else.” Of course, therein lies the issue: what is next? Clearly, we all know I have a problem coming up with the answer to that question, since my blog’s premise embodies exactly that question; however, it is something that everyone asks themselves. What sort of job do I want to do next? What will make me happy? Should I go to Dunkin Donuts and get a coffee? What should I do with my life after I get that coffee?

My friend offered some practical advice: talk to people who are in a field/industry that interests you or who have a job that you could potentially want and figure out what you have to do to get there. This isn’t a job interview, by any means -- just a simple conversation with someone who has experience and insider information who can provide you with advice on how to forge a path for yourself and figure out if their path is something you might want to mimic or learn from. When my friend told me this, I responded with a resounding “Hmph.” It’s like that moment when you’re watching an infomercial and you think to yourself: “Well, gosh, I could have come up with that! Why didn’t I think of it first?!” But you didn’t. And this is why you need to seek advice from people who might know better.

Later in the day, I was talking to another friend. This time, amidst a conversation that stretched from discussing a funny video on YouTube to the contents of our lunches, the dire and depressing notion of not knowing what to do with our lives became a topic. A mutual friend had just found a new job and was moving on, leading my friend to pronounce “I have no path” -- a very dire and depressing notion. This statement snowballed into not knowing what sort of path she wanted to be on, and I admit, I could relate. Being a 20-something, there are only few things we are certain of: student loans, still being regularly carded and usually not falling prey to some sort of acid indigestion.

Being certain of exactly what sort of path we want to be on is rare. And you know what? I think that’s okay. Knowing what path you want to be on requires knowing yourself to a certain extent, and at 22-years-old, I don’t think I can say I know myself to the point where I can be 100% sure of what it is I want to do with the rest of my life. That’s a lot of pressure for someone who can’t even commit to a hair color for more than a year, don’t you think?

I think the best one can do is zero in on what we are good at and what we are passionate about and hope to pursue those things. At least if we’re figuring out our strengths and weaknesses, then we might be in a better position to learn how to capitalize on those strengths and improve upon those weaknesses and find a path that allows us to accomplish both of those things.

For now, I am still trying to determine which path I should pursue. I know that I am not exactly happy with where I am now -- but I do think that is part of figuring it all out. I at least have learned enough to know what I don’t want, and slowly, but surely, I am compiling a list that will enable me and empower me to pursue the path that will lead me to happiness.

Sorry -- that got a bit philosophical at the end there, but hey, I did warn you. Sort of.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Where the creative juices flow... or falter...while I wait for change.

Since last week, I have definitely been faced with quite a bit of impending changes. On Saturday, I had an interview for a retail sales associate position at the local mall, and then on Monday, had another interview in Boston for a manuscript assistant position at a medical journal. On top of that, as mentioned in a previous post, I got accepted to another grad school. Clearly, within a few weeks, definitely a few months and even in the next year, things are going to be a lot different and certainly, my daily life will be changing.

With the prospect of grad school on the horizon, I have been viewing my job search in a different way. Primarily, the goal is to save as much money as possible in a short amount of time to prevent grad school from being an overwhelming financial burden. At the same time, ideally, it would be great to find a job that would be in line with my career goals. However, after so much inactivity over the past few months of post-college life, I don't know if I can really afford (pun intended) to wait around for that stepping stone position. Could this be a bad decision in terms of starting my career and gaining more experience? Maybe. But in a day and age where money rules all, I'm at the point where I need to get things moving a little faster so that I can start saving for grad school and become more financially independent.

As much as I love to contemplate these potential changes from the comfort of my own desk, I'm ready for something to do. I've accepted the retail position in the mean time in hopes that I can start saving money for all of the things I'd like to do in the future -- continue my education, travel, perhaps buy a car... But I haven't given up all hope in finding that "stepping stone" position, much like the manuscript assistant position I applied for and am waiting to hear about. Though I realize that I might end up in over my head if I do get offered the manuscript assistant job after having already accepted the retail job, I feel like it's something that I have to do. I have only been waiting for all of these changes to happen, without experiencing any of it. I wake up and do pretty much the same thing every day except maybe in a different sequence, hoping that today will be the day I get offered a job and am set on the path to career enlightenment. That is unlikely to happen. Instead, I am trying to be more pro-active in pursuing change. And if I get caught in that pickle with two jobs? Honestly, I suppose that is not the worst position I could be in at this point. Like I've said before, it's nice to have options and even nicer to finally be receiving a paycheck.

Did That Just Happen?

Sorry for my brief absence, I was busy with a few things, which, when compared to my current unemployed status, means that I finally had something to do. However, to make up for lost time, I have quite a doozy of a story for you -- in fact, some may call it even a horror story. So sit back in your chair, grab a nice beverage, maybe a candy bar and certainly be ready to laugh or cry at my expense (I basically did both).

Earlier this week, I had an interview for a marketing company that I had minimal knowledge about. The preliminary interview was on Monday and lasted about 15-20 minutes. Basically, I told my interviewer about me and my skills and he gave me a brief rundown about what they did as a company. He explained that they were an outsourced marketing company called upon by big, prestigious corporations and organizations to do face-to-face marketing. I took this to mean that the marketing I would be engaging in would be directly with or to that corporation, maybe in a presentation setting, and thought it sounded intriguing. Later that day, after the preliminary interview was but a distant memory from that afternoon, I got a phone call saying they wanted me to come in for a second interview, which would be a day-long shadowing interview where I would see what they do and be simultaneously evaluated for the potential position. Of course, I thought this sounded like a good idea. Everyone wants that second interview -- that "second date" if you will. They liked me and I wanted to learn more, so I said yes.

I came in the next day curious to see what would be in store for me that day. I figured I'd be hanging out in the office with one of the bosses -- as they had seemed to imply I would be doing -- and learn a bit more about their business. From my 15-20 minute preliminary interview, I didn't have too much to go on. I thought I knew what to expect.

By now, from my lovely story-telling ability, I'm sure you know that this is the point in my narrative where things go wrong. I clearly did not know what to expect. The only thing I knew is that the administrative assistant had warned me to wear comfortable shoes the previous day on the phone. At the time, I took this as strange -- if I'm supposed to be in professional attire and hanging around a business all day, why would I be advised to wear flats? Would I be pulling an anti-Planet Fitness: picking things up and putting them down? Would I be required to compete with other job applicants in a gauntlet filled with physical and intellectual challenges, one challenge of which would entail a 5K?

I found out that essentially, face-to-face marketing was just a glorified way of calling yourself a solicitor. That company and my interviewers would probably argue to the death that they are not solicitors in any way -- but basically, when you go door-to-door to different businesses talking about a particular product, you're looking to sell something to them, and that makes you a solicitor.

Maybe if more people were English majors they might actually know
definitions to words and perhaps, check a thesaurus.
Face-to-face marketing is just another synonym for solicitor.

Listen, you can put lipstick on a pig, but in the end, it's still a pig, right? Exactly. The woman I shadowed for the day seemed to think that they were engaging in some sort of revolutionary marketing technique. Sorry, honey, face-to-face marketing is the pig in lipstick in this situation. You're still a solicitor.

Upon realizing this is what I would be doing all day. I decided I would just be polite (I was on an interview after all), make it through the day, go home and write it off as just an unfortunate misunderstanding. IF ONLY it was that easy.

Yes, I was polite and enthusiastic when chatting with my interviewer. However, she told me that I wasn't supposed to do any of the talking when she was "marketing" other than to make small talk if I saw fit. Of course, I did my usual "hello," "nice to meet you" and "thank you" spiel, because I am polite person and I was taught to have manners, but most of the time, I just kept my mouth shut and watched in horror as my interviewer "marketed" her product (AKA was pushy and persistent) which was some sort of credit card thing (I'm going to leave it vague and ambiguous to protect the identity of said ridiculous "marketing" company).

As the end of the day approached, I did a little victory dance in my head. Thank God -- I was almost done and I could go home, sit on the couch with my dog watching bad reality television, and go to bed. However, as you might imagine, some of my interviewer's "marketing" techniques did not exactly go over well with some of the people she was "marketing" to. We had been going into small businesses all day around one particular town, and her annoying, rude, amateur interesting "marketing" techniques must have pushed someone's buttons. Needless to say, at our last location, we were confronted by the town's police officers.

YUP -- you heard me correctly. POLICE OFFICERS. Someone had called the cops on us. Apparently, my ignorant, thoughtless lovely interviewer and her company did not even think nor consider to check the town's laws to see if she could "market" there. Soliciting was illegal, but no one had even cared to look into that because they apparently don't consider themselves to be soliciting.

While being questioned by the police, I did what any law abiding citizen would do. Basically told them everything my interviewer had done all day, how I wasn't even an employee of the company and how I wasn't actually doing any of the "marketing" and just tagging along. I was like "here's every single bit of information I have on my pig in lipstick interviewer and her company: phone number, address, blood type..." The police officer had said to me that the company seemed shady and my interviewer's "marketing" techniques regarding the "credit card thing" seemed even shadier, which had prompted the cops being called on us in the first place. I was a mix of emotions, but to start, I was mostly: livid, infuriated, and upset. The officers told us that we could actually be arrested because it was illegal to do what "we" were doing. I thought the officers were extremely nice and they offered to let me hang at the station while someone came to pick me up if I didn't feel comfortable going back with my pig in lipstick interviewer, but I figured since we were going back to the office anyway, it would just be quicker to go back with her. The officer tried to crack a joke, saying that he knew the economy was tough and it was difficult to find a job, and I, in the midst of my tears, told him, "Well, yeah, not taking this job. Interview from hell."

As you can imagine, the ride home was extremely awkward turtle. My interviewer tried to apologize, and even claimed that the cops would not even hear her out when she tried to explain what she was selling to them. I told her that was because they didn't want her to sell to them; they just wanted to get a clear picture of what was going on. Her comments only confirmed what I had decided that morning: she was an idiot. I tried to be as polite as possible on the ride home, but when she asked me if I could see myself in a position with her company, I told her no: this position was not what I expected nor wanted. She kept blabbing all the way home about how face-to-face "marketing" was the best type, but I just ignored her and was trying to think about how my parents would react to this lovely ordeal.

Finally, we were back at the office parking lot. I still was supposed to go back up to the office for a few final things, but I told her "NO WAY." No, actually, I told her that after what had just happened (AKA almost getting arrested), I didn't want to go back to the office and just wanted to go home. SEE YA.

I drove home amazed at what had just happened to me. I, Angela, -- little miss goody-goody with her 3.9 and penchant for being the third wheel when hanging out with her mom and dad and a college career as an RA -- could have been arrested today because of my pig in lipstick interviewer and the company. My parents were just as infuriated as I was. I had been duped! And I had my first official interview horror story. Needless to say, I was not happy about my job search and its prospects at that point. However, I survived to tell the tale and subsequently self-medicated with Girl Scout cookies, a Klondike bar and some leftover chocolate cheesecake.



Wisdom from Sex and the City?

One of my favorite TV shows of all time is, without a doubt, Sex and the City. The fashion, the strong women, the insight into relationships, the fashion... All of it definitely strikes a chord and, owning all of the seasons, I find myself watching each episode over and over again with my love for it never tiring.

With this obsession also comes a pocket of SATC knowledge, tucked away in my mind, always popping up at random times and offering its wisdom to me. The other day I had been thinking about my job search and how I haven't had much activity regarding interviews or callbacks, and then it took me back to one episode (can't remember which one) where Carrie makes the insight that "all you need to get a date is another one." Just as she got one date, she was suddenly presented with another male suitor and another option. In my own dating experience, I do find this to be true -- that you'll have a period without any dates, and then suddenly, not only do you get asked out by one guy, but then there's another one that's showing interest and making moves. In an instant, you go from zero options to multiple ones.

I think that this is a possibility for the job hunt as well. I've been applying pretty much anywhere and everywhere -- full-time jobs and part-time jobs in a variety of fields -- and sooner or later, someone is going to call back or request an interview. Recently, I applied for a retail position and was called in not just for an initial interview, but for a second one as well this Monday, which just so happens to be the same day I have a lunch meeting with someone from another company I applied to. For a while, I thought my biggest problem would be finding somewhere to hire me, and now I'm realizing that I might have to consider what to do if I receive offers for employment at more than one company or if I take a job at one place, and then get offered a better position somewhere else.

It always seems to work that way, though. That you go through a discouraging period of zero dates or bad dates or dates you think are dates, but end up not being dates...And then all of a sudden, you're juggling a few dating options. A degree of patience is key, obviously, but I think it also has to do with a state of mind: trying not to let discouragement get the best of you, staying hopeful, and most importantly, staying confident. I think it works the same way with the job hunt, you go through that discouraging period of zero interviews, bad interviews or interviews that you think went well, but end up without a job offer, and then suddenly, all of those applications you submitted earlier are yielding results and you now have to decide what direction you want to head in.

At least, I'm hoping that this bit of Sex and the City wisdom might ring true for my job hunt. I guess after my Monday full of meetings and interviews I will at least have a reason to be hopeful or to continue to persevere.