Choosing a Path

Today, I had a few brief, but very poignant conversations with two different friends (at two different, unrelated times) about figuring out one’s path in life. I realize this sounds incredibly philosophical, which might deter half of my readers (leaving me with a fraction of a human being), but I assure you, despite however philosophical it might seem, I guarantee it is a subconscious question posed to yourself every day.

With friend one, the question was not even trying to be deep or insightful -- the topic of “figuring out one’s path” blossomed from simple, polite, small talk. You know the kind: “Hi, how are you?” and “How’s your job?” This, inevitably, will be answered either with “The job is great -- I love it!” as a way to placate your partner in conversation and steer them onto a more interesting topic (unless your job is really interesting) OR, if you’re like me, you will be brutally honest and respond with “It’s boring. Hate my commute. I need to find something else.” Of course, therein lies the issue: what is next? Clearly, we all know I have a problem coming up with the answer to that question, since my blog’s premise embodies exactly that question; however, it is something that everyone asks themselves. What sort of job do I want to do next? What will make me happy? Should I go to Dunkin Donuts and get a coffee? What should I do with my life after I get that coffee?

My friend offered some practical advice: talk to people who are in a field/industry that interests you or who have a job that you could potentially want and figure out what you have to do to get there. This isn’t a job interview, by any means -- just a simple conversation with someone who has experience and insider information who can provide you with advice on how to forge a path for yourself and figure out if their path is something you might want to mimic or learn from. When my friend told me this, I responded with a resounding “Hmph.” It’s like that moment when you’re watching an infomercial and you think to yourself: “Well, gosh, I could have come up with that! Why didn’t I think of it first?!” But you didn’t. And this is why you need to seek advice from people who might know better.

Later in the day, I was talking to another friend. This time, amidst a conversation that stretched from discussing a funny video on YouTube to the contents of our lunches, the dire and depressing notion of not knowing what to do with our lives became a topic. A mutual friend had just found a new job and was moving on, leading my friend to pronounce “I have no path” -- a very dire and depressing notion. This statement snowballed into not knowing what sort of path she wanted to be on, and I admit, I could relate. Being a 20-something, there are only few things we are certain of: student loans, still being regularly carded and usually not falling prey to some sort of acid indigestion.

Being certain of exactly what sort of path we want to be on is rare. And you know what? I think that’s okay. Knowing what path you want to be on requires knowing yourself to a certain extent, and at 22-years-old, I don’t think I can say I know myself to the point where I can be 100% sure of what it is I want to do with the rest of my life. That’s a lot of pressure for someone who can’t even commit to a hair color for more than a year, don’t you think?

I think the best one can do is zero in on what we are good at and what we are passionate about and hope to pursue those things. At least if we’re figuring out our strengths and weaknesses, then we might be in a better position to learn how to capitalize on those strengths and improve upon those weaknesses and find a path that allows us to accomplish both of those things.

For now, I am still trying to determine which path I should pursue. I know that I am not exactly happy with where I am now -- but I do think that is part of figuring it all out. I at least have learned enough to know what I don’t want, and slowly, but surely, I am compiling a list that will enable me and empower me to pursue the path that will lead me to happiness.

Sorry -- that got a bit philosophical at the end there, but hey, I did warn you. Sort of.

150 days late and a dollar short

I realize it has been about five months since I last posted (although, that last post consisted strictly of haikus, so I don't even know if I should be allowed to consider that a post), and in internet-land, that is pretty much the kiss of death. You just can't abandon your blog and your followers like that, even if your following is a mere six people on a good day.

Well, I wish I had a good excuse for it, but I don't. The fact of the matter is part of this whole navigating post-grad life thing is figuring out how to fit all of the things you want to do into your life and new routine. Once I got a job, I realized that some of the things I had more than enough time for began to fall lower on my priority scale as a lengthy commute and long day drained any and all motivation I had to do the things I used to do all the time, such as go to the gym and blog. Factor in trying to maintain the same social life I had prior to 40-hour work weeks, and I would return home after work and a night out exhausted, only to be wishing for more hours in a day.

So where does that leave me now, you may ask? Since starting my job in April, I have been just another cog in the 9-to-5 machine. I have to leave the house at 7:30AM every morning to make it to work by 9, spend eight hours in the office, and then once 5PM arrives, I leave the office and make it home usually around 6:15. From there, I usually choose between two options: 1.) eat dinner, shower and go to bed OR 2.) eat dinner and then go out to meet up with my friends/boyfriend/etc. Usually, I choose option #2, considering it helps to maintain some sort of semblance of my sanity. It is all very routine and very tiring. I realize that everyone does this. All of America gets up, goes to work all day, goes home and then has to get up and do it all again the next day. But I feel like something's gotta give. I don't want to be driving for three hours a day to get to work, only to get there and feel dissatisfied with what I'm doing. I most certainly don't want my commute to be the most work I have to do all day either. I want to feel like I'm doing something.

I guess I am at the point where I am trying to figure out what's next. Yes, I realize that I was asking myself that same question almost a year ago as I was approaching the end of my college career. However, I feel like I'm at that same place again -- despite having applied to jobs and grad schools last year, finding a job (two jobs actually) and working, I still feel like I don't have any more direction than when I began that bit of soul-searching.

I realize that this has become a sort of rant and good luck to those of you who were able to follow it, but I suppose the point I am trying to make is that maybe I do need to start blogging again if only to find my voice that I seem to have lost along the way. And maybe finding that voice will allow me to figure out what it's going to take to make me happy in all aspects of life -- work, play, and whatever else seems to fall in the middle of all of that.

Thank you for bearing with me... Now, let's see if I can make this blogging thing a habit again, right?

Working Girl

I did it -- I survived my first week (well, three days) of work! Does this make me a full-fledged adult? Maybe not, but I certainly seem more like one. I will be getting a regular and consistent paycheck, making a commute into the city and becoming part of a new team. I can't say I'm not looking forward to a bit of consistency and stability. I can finally add something new to my resume, afford to buy that new car and gain a bit of financial independence in general. Though I am excited to move on to a new chapter in my life, I have to admit that the transition from college life to work life is a challenge. I spent my last semester enjoying the perks of a late morning start, being with my friends all of the time, and immersing myself in my classes. Now, I have to be up and in the car before 8 o'clock to insure a punctual arrival to work and spend the day inside an office. It's a shock to my system, to say the least.

I suppose I'm being faced with this reality much sooner than my other 2012 counterparts, but I know that everyone else has and will go through this. My four month stint of unemployment lulled me into a false sense of comfort. Even with my part-time job, I had minimum responsibilities. I could stay up late, wake up late, leisurely go about my daytime schedule and still have time to spare. Now, I'm adjusting to a brand new routine. I've never had to factor a lengthy commute into my day and plan my lunches ahead of time. Sure, I realize that all of this might sound petty and trivial when pretty much everyone needs to work, but I only mean to say that I was used to one sort of lifestyle for basically 3.5 years and now, that semi-flexible schedule has turned into a regimented dosage of reality. I have no doubt I can do it and adjust -- I am a hard-worker and I am determined -- but that doesn't mean it's not a challenge.

One day in particular was especially hard. I'm still a bit unfamiliar with the area I'm working in, so I need to use my GPS to help navigate around the city. I was late to work that morning due to traffic and it took me an hour and a half to get home that night (without traffic, I live about 20-30 minutes outside of the city.) I was so frustrated. All I wanted to do was get home, go to the gym and eat dinner, but I saw my time frame to do those things getting pushed back as my car slowly inched along. By the time I got home, I was beyond stressed out. I went straight to the gym to try to exercise my frustration away, then came home, ate dinner by myself, showered and basically went to bed. I know that, for many people, this is reality, but this hadn't been my reality before. I felt slightly imprisoned by my own schedule -- but I knew that I was going to have to make a new schedule and get used to my new daily routine.

I'll admit, this whole change is overwhelming. My entry-level job isn't exactly what I thought it would be. It isn't a bad job -- but I think I failed to take into consider what an entry-level job is: a point of entry into a career. I'm not going to get a ton of responsibility or exciting assignments because I haven't had the chance to showcase my capabilities yet. That responsibility may come eventually, but it won't come in a week, and that's something I'm going to have to work towards. I did really well in school -- I have the GPA to prove it -- but that's because I was so good at it and I knew what I needed to do to excel. This job thing is a bit different. I'm tackling a few new elements here: a commute, an office environment, new people and a whole new set of tasks.

I will call upon a ridiculously hackneyed, yet useful saying for now: Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm not going to become suddenly acclimated to my new routine. BUT, in time, it can happen -- and it will. It's certainly a learning process for me, but then again, what in life isn't?

I'll be sure to share more of my work week with you in the mean time... I will have to figure out where blogging fits into my new routine :)

What a Tangled Web We Weave

Now that you're all caught up with my vacation adventures, I suppose it's time to fill you in with the latest in my job search. After all, this blog is supposed to document my ups and downs of job hunting as a recent grad, right? I digress.
A little less than a week before leaving for Puerto Rico, my job hunt took an interesting turn in a matter of about fifteen minutes or so -- all while brushing my teeth in the morning. If you've been following my blog, you'll know that I've been working part-time at the mall. This was filling up my weeks quite nicely, and that morning, I had to be at work by 9AM, so as you can imagine, I was busy getting ready. However, during my morning frenzy, I got a phone call regarding the manuscript assistant job I had interviewed for a few weeks ago -- I got the job. I was excited. Just about three or so months of job hunting and I was being offered full-time employment -- that was a huge step. Of course, big decisions should not be handled lightly, and now that my employment opportunity went from hypothetical to realistic, I had to reconsider all of the pros and cons. I hung up the phone, picked up my toothbrush and was now brushing my teeth with a sort of vigor that could only be attributed to the butterflies in my stomach and the urgency to get to my current part-time gig on time.
Of course, as I alluded to, mid-brush, only a mere minute or two after my first phone call, I was getting another phone call from a number I didn't recognize. My mouth filled with toothpaste, I obviously wasn't going to pick up the phone and I did have somewhere I needed to be in about 20 minutes (at that point, that was my job and my commitment and I couldn't let my excitement get the best of me). I let the caller go to voicemail and then played it on speakerphone while finishing up my morning routine. On the phone was a woman from a communications company asking if I could come in for an interview for a publicist position. I was in shock. I had gone from working part-time at the mall to being offered a job and an interview opportunity in less than five minutes. This other job had great potential and room for growth, so I greedily decided that I would take the interview.

I managed to schedule an interview for the next day and went in to discuss the potential job opportunity. Some of the pressure was off, I'll admit. Even if this interview didn't work out, I had another job waiting for me, and by the same token, not only was it good practice to interview, but I could potentially have an even better offer. However, I couldn't help but wonder if I was engaging in some sort of job taboo. I was delaying my decision of the other position pending more information from the interview. Was it wrong for me to do that? When I thought about it, I decided it wasn't. A friend of mine put it in perspective for me. He said, "Don't you think that if the CEO of a company had to choose between him keeping his job and you keeping your job, he'd let you go in a second?" I had to admit it; he was right. Entry-level employees can sometimes be expendable and replaceable. Sounds pessimistic, but in this economy, it's true. If you're not contributing, you can be replaced with someone better and/or cheaper, and when it comes to your own career, you do need to be a little selfish (though I wouldn't advocate selfish motivation as a prime motivator). It's just another lesson learned as I go through the job search.

So you might ask now, how did the interview turn out and did I accept that other job offer? I thought that the interview went well. I was really interested, but when I asked about benefits, including salary compensation, I wasn't thrilled with what I could potentially be offered. In an effort to jumpstart my career and my independence, I decided to accept the initial job offer and let the cards fall where they may (sorry for a cliche!). You never know until you try and I figured it was time to give this whole full-time employment thing a shot.

I Left My Heart in San...Juan

view from our hotel room

Well, folks... I am back. My flight touched back down in Boston Sunday night and I returned a much crispier version of my former self. While on vacation, I certainly had a few goals in mind: relax, have fun and enjoy spending uninterrupted time with my family. Did I do all of those things, you ask? I believe that I was able to accomplish all of those goals and more. I'd like to share a few highlights from my trip with you:

Me ziplining with my family of exclamation points.

Zip-lining:
I have zip-lined before -- but never on this scale. My family and I booked a trip to go zip-lining at La Marquesa Forest Reserve in Guaynabo city, which is around 20-30 minutes outside of San Juan. All of us were at different comfort levels. My brother was seemingly fearless, I was excited-nervous as was my dad and my mother was absolutely terrified. Despite all of this though, it was such a fun experience. All of us were able to challenge ourselves to some degree. I was finding it especially difficult to learn how to brake. I knew what I was supposed to do to brake, but my reaction every time was getting in the way of that process. My brother seamlessly zipped from perch to perch, while on the other end of the extreme, my mother was just thankful to get to perch to perch. The whole time, we were zipping through the forest, weaving between the wildlife. All of us learned that doing something like this requires support and encouragement and a little bit of bravery.

Please excuse the terrible quality of this video... I was using my point-and-shoot camera.

But just wanted you to get a feel for walking for a little bit through Old San Juan

Shopping in Old San Juan:
While we spent most of the time hanging out on the beach or walking around our local area by the hotel, my mom and I decided to break from the rest of the pack and visit Old San Juan. The area has a European-charm with its colorful buildings accented by white, sun-bleached trim, crowded streets and small piazzas. Unlike Europe though, there was a sort of vibrant, friendly flavor enhanced by the locals artisans' friendly smiles or the latin music pouring out of restaurants and cafes. It was a nice afternoon, but the scorching heat definitely meant that we couldn't spend too long hopping from shop to shop. My mom and I enjoyed lunch looking out at the neighborhood before heading back to the hotel in need of serious rehydration and a dip in the pool. My favorite part of our early afternoon trip though was getting to buy a few trinkets from artisans, who explained to us how they made each of their items and were enthuasiastic to share their stories.

Just hanging out in Old San Juan

Dancing Queen:
One of my favorite nights during my trip was hanging out at the hotel bar. Doesn't sound too exciting when I say it like that, and in truth, it wasn't too exciting in the beginning. After a long dinner just outside the hotel, my brother and I weren't quite ready to call it a night so we decided to hang out in the lounge/bar in the hotel lobby. There was a DJ and a dance floor, but minimal dance activity save for two girls who were going off and on the dance floor depending on the song. Now, I don't know about you, but I love to dance -- especially when it's a song I love. So the combination of vacation mentality + good music (+a teensy bit of alcohol) was surging in my system and I now had this mission to dance -- and to get everyone else to dance too. At some points, it was just me and my mother (by force) dancing and goofing around on the dance floor. Other times, me and those two girls. But eventually, my shameless dancing was somehow inviting other people to dance and I started encouraging those lingering on the outskirts of the dance floor to join in. I had made the dance floor go from empty to filled -- and filled with energy at that. I even managed to get an impromptu latin dance lesson from somehow who seemed to dance flawlessly. Between twirling and laughing, I was basically a professional. By the end of the night, both my brother and I were not only having a great time, but making new friends in the process. It really shed some light on the phrase "dance like no one is watching," because just a teensy bit of bravery on the dance floor allowed everyone else to let loose and enjoy themselves as well.

Family time:
Obviously, my vacation in Puerto Rico was made possible thanks to my parents. They generously shared what probably should've been a vacation for just the two of them (as they were celebrating both a wedding anniversary and a birthday milestone) and it turned out to be a really great time. With both my brother and I having spent the last two years or so in college together at the same time, getting the four of us under the same roof can sometimes prove difficult. However, here was an opportunity for the four of us not only to be together, but to relax and have fun together. Sure, the trip wasn't without its squabbles, but for the most part, we were able to put that aside and soak in some sunshine and some especially good memories. I sometimes think as we get older we become more apprehensive to go on a family vacation and instead, opt for more trips with friends or even boyfriends/girlfriends. But I think there is something special about a family who can still have fun together and enjoy each other no matter what age -- and I think my family was able to do that.