I realize it has been about five months since I last posted (although, that last post consisted strictly of haikus, so I don't even know if I should be allowed to consider that a post), and in internet-land, that is pretty much the kiss of death. You just can't abandon your blog and your followers like that, even if your following is a mere six people on a good day.
Well, I wish I had a good excuse for it, but I don't. The fact of the matter is part of this whole navigating post-grad life thing is figuring out how to fit all of the things you want to do into your life and new routine. Once I got a job, I realized that some of the things I had more than enough time for began to fall lower on my priority scale as a lengthy commute and long day drained any and all motivation I had to do the things I used to do all the time, such as go to the gym and blog. Factor in trying to maintain the same social life I had prior to 40-hour work weeks, and I would return home after work and a night out exhausted, only to be wishing for more hours in a day.
So where does that leave me now, you may ask? Since starting my job in April, I have been just another cog in the 9-to-5 machine. I have to leave the house at 7:30AM every morning to make it to work by 9, spend eight hours in the office, and then once 5PM arrives, I leave the office and make it home usually around 6:15. From there, I usually choose between two options: 1.) eat dinner, shower and go to bed OR 2.) eat dinner and then go out to meet up with my friends/boyfriend/etc. Usually, I choose option #2, considering it helps to maintain some sort of semblance of my sanity. It is all very routine and very tiring. I realize that everyone does this. All of America gets up, goes to work all day, goes home and then has to get up and do it all again the next day. But I feel like something's gotta give. I don't want to be driving for three hours a day to get to work, only to get there and feel dissatisfied with what I'm doing. I most certainly don't want my commute to be the most work I have to do all day either. I want to feel like I'm doing something.
I guess I am at the point where I am trying to figure out what's next. Yes, I realize that I was asking myself that same question almost a year ago as I was approaching the end of my college career. However, I feel like I'm at that same place again -- despite having applied to jobs and grad schools last year, finding a job (two jobs actually) and working, I still feel like I don't have any more direction than when I began that bit of soul-searching.
I realize that this has become a sort of rant and good luck to those of you who were able to follow it, but I suppose the point I am trying to make is that maybe I do need to start blogging again if only to find my voice that I seem to have lost along the way. And maybe finding that voice will allow me to figure out what it's going to take to make me happy in all aspects of life -- work, play, and whatever else seems to fall in the middle of all of that.
Thank you for bearing with me... Now, let's see if I can make this blogging thing a habit again, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment