What's Next?

Ah, Bloggerverse. It's always a challenge trying to communicate news and change to you, my followers. How much of an introduction should I give to said news? Should I ease into it? Should I just let my title give it away? Are these rhetorical questions enough of a build-up to stir some anxiety and anticipation within you as you now begin to wonder what it is I am going to tell you?

This story goes all the way back to last fall as I braced myself for life's big transition: from student to adult -- leaving the undergrad world for the cold, harsh reality of working hard for my money and moving back home with the "roomies." By that December as I neared my last few weeks at school, I had done minimal job hunting, lots of fun-having and only a little bit of philosophical thinking. While considering my options as I approached this inevitable change, I decided that, perhaps, I should return to the classroom the following fall to continue my education and pursue a masters degree. I did what I needed to do to make it happen: requested reference letters and transcripts, took the GREs, wrote required essays, and completed several applications -- applying to four schools and patiently waiting to hear whether my pursuit into another realm of higher education would continue come the fall of 2012.

After graduating, I was even more set on returning to grad school. It made sense. I loved being in the classroom, I wanted another degree, and I had the momentum from only just recently finishing up my undergraduate degree. I was ready. I was eager... and then I was torn. As I received acceptances and rejections, I realized: this was going to be an expensive endeavor and was I really sure? Was I willing to make a commitment to this costly continuation of my education right now? I wasn't 100% dedicated to the degree I had applied to pursue (journalism) and the cost of tuition was daunting. I made the decision to postpone my return to grad school until I was more certain of the degree I wanted to pursue and that grad school, in general, was a step I wanted to take.

As the first few months of summer went by, I was a 9-to-5 ingenue. Only having been at my job for so long, being a cubicle crony was still a novelty, and yet, the thought of returning to grad school was still lingering in my mind. I had since given more thought to the degree path I wanted to pursue, exploring a variety of options and programs, doing more research than I had ever done as an undergrad into the prospect of going back to school. I was more aware and realistic this time. I knew what needed to be done, what it would cost and the compromises I was willing to make.

So I applied. Again. This time, though, I applied to communications-based programs (such as public relations and integrated marketing communications) and one fashion program. I re-wrote the essays, re-requested the transcripts and reference letters and filled out a few more applications this time. I wrote down deadlines, requirements and filed important emails away for reference. I wasn't kidding around this time -- I knew, for sure, that I wanted to go back to school. I missed writing essays, engaging in scholarly discussion/debate and immersing myself in a wholly academic atmosphere where the people around me wanted to be there and also wanted to learn. I missed that. I needed the challenging intellectual stimulation that my desk job just wasn't giving me. I wasn't satisfied with my cubicle confinement and I had the urge to learn -- an urge that, I have a feeling, never has (and probably never will) leave me.

I continued at my desk job, waiting for a response from the various schools and this time, it was even more positive. I got into 5/6 schools and of those schools' acceptances, I got very generous scholarships to each. This time, the ball was in my court -- each school had given me great offers and I was no longer in a position where I needed to scrounge for dollars and cents to make it all work. Inside, I was elated -- an internal fiesta took place as I celebrated these little victories, finally culminating after years of hard work as a student.I could return to school and I wasn't going to go broke in the process! Isn't that what we all aspire to accomplish in this day and age?

My decision was tough -- I battled with the pros and cons of each school, but ultimately, it came down to two, which were both excellent options. One would have required me to take a pre-requisite undergraduate class, move to the South and take out a lot more in loans; the other would allow me to stay local, offering me a very generous financial package and teaching assistantship and the option of spending my last semester interning and taking classes in London. Ultimately, I accepted the offer to the local school -- they have an excellent program, a great alumni base and a positive reputation for post-graduate employment opportunities. Plus, their generous financial package allows me to take out very minimal loans (if I even have to). I can breathe a big sigh of relief -- I am finally going to make it happen.

So there you have it, folks. I am returning to the classroom this fall -- both as a student and as a teacher. I'll admit, I'm equally excited and nervous to make the transition back to school, since I've spent the last year working, but I think I'm ready. I'll prepare for the new challenge and you can prepare yourselves for some new blog posts -- how's that sound?

In the words of Billy Madison, here goes nothin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMtkiS1SU_c

You Are What You Do

Scary picture, but scarily appropriate
http://collegemedia.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/screen-shot-2012-05-14-at-2-56-48-am.png?w=500&h=366

Throughout the first twenty-something-or-so years of our lives, we recent post-grads have identified as a "student," or, at best, a "student of (insert focus of study here)." It was easy. From kindergarten until the end of our years in higher education, our identity was inextricably linked to our education and what it was we wanted to do with that education. We were never plagued with the ominous question of "so, what do you do?" because it was self-explanatory: we went to class, we learned, we were working towards a degree. The majority of our life was consumed by academics to that point. No pressure, no worry about what it is we were going to do with that accumulation of knowledge, simply that we were immersed in it, and far too inundated with schoolwork to really broach any silly questions of the practical implications of our degrees and what that meant about us.

But when the tassel inevitably moves to the other side of your mortarboard and your degree is hanging up on your wall in the same room you grew up in (and will now, again be living in), people are no longer satisfied with an answer filled with potentially lofty-goals or innocent dreams. The first thing they ask is: "what do you do" and, by golly, you better have a good answer.

We have abandoned the security blanket of answering with "I'm a student," and forced to identify ourselves in terms of our current job. While answering as a student may have allowed you to be associated with all sorts of grand aspirations, answering "what do you do" with your current entry-level job leaves much to be desired. Instead of being able to cling to the things I love to do and want to do when coupled with my academic path, I have to identify with the ugly reality that is: I work at an entry-level job, I don't get to do all of the things I love to do (nor pursue any of my interests) and I am more interesting than my job lets on. (I swear!) 

And yet, when someone asks me what I do, that's the starting point. The conversation builds upon what it is that I do and if first impressions are important, then what sort of impression am I making in the first five minutes of conversation by having to identify with a job I really can't identify with?

Such a simple question, and yet, I can never answer the same way twice. I immediately find myself trying to explain it in the simplest terms and then adding a precusory, "Oh, I know, it's boring" in an attempt to separate who I am from my job. I don't want my answer, or more specifically, my job (at this early point in my career), to equate to who I am, what I care about, and what I want to do with my life. For those who know me, it's obvious that there is far more to me than the office job and cubicle I frequent 40-hours a week. But I just cannot escape the question and the inevitable bridge it forms to who I am. I may spend five days a week in my cubicle, but who I am is not what I do, certainly not in my current position. I might be working towards a better job or career path that would be more cohesive with my personality and my values, but I'm just not there yet and it's sometimes defeating when that is one of the first questions that I'm asked in order to help a new acquaintance assemble my identity.

I recognize this is something that is going to happen regardless of whether or not I cause a fuss about the question, ignore it, or create some public service announcement about the emotionally damaging side effects of being asked this question a few years post-grad. What can I do about it? Not much. But in the mean time, I'm trying to make it a point to steer conversations more towards those aspirations and goals I have. I still got 'em, folks, despite being the jaded working girl that I am these days, and I am going to make them happen.

Vacation All I Ever Wanted

Because everyone loves the Go-Go's...

Hard to believe, but April will mark my one-year anniversary at my current job. Last March, I was sitting around my house, moping in boredom still wearing my post-workout clothes, talking to my dog and voluntarily vacuuming the house. Since then, I've been facing a tough commute, the much-more-difficult-than-it-looks-task of walking upstairs in pencil skirts and going to bed early. I could actually be qualified as a real grown-up -- that is, if you wish to disregard the fact that my bedroom is down the hallway from my parents.

In reflecting on the past year of 9-to-5 fun, early mornings and eight hours per day with my computer screen, I realized something that should have already hit me: my life is now (and potentially forever) devoid of vacations. Okay, yes, I know -- DRAMATIC. But hear me out?

Many jobs offer vacation time to employees or paid-time-off of some sort, but that's not really what I'm talking about. When is the next time I'm going to be able to take a three month hiatus in the summer, only to return to my beloved seat come September? Sure, that happens K-12, and then in college, but then what? Where do my vacations go!? Will I ever be able to take that much time off ever again? Winter break, spring break and summer break become nothing but fond, distant memories of a time where wrinkles were non-existent, coffee was mainly used to assist in all-nighters rather than to survive workdays and you could still get a student discount at J.Crew.

Once you participate in the daily grind of office life, ditching study carrels for cubicles, the most you can hope for is a flexible company policy that gives you a generous amount of vacation time. Even then, don't count on summer vacation lasting from Memorial Day until after Labor Day. Cue hand to forehead: doh! 

I realize that this is something that should have occurred to me last spring, after graduating early and working throughout the summer whereas my recently graduated friends had the summer off before joining me in the dire workforce that fall; however, the novelty of working hadn't yet worn off and my new routine was still foreign enough to throw me off of my game. Now, as I approach that one-year-mark of working full time, I've noticed that it has all begun to sort of wear on me. The winter has been terrible, it's always cold and I am wavering between being completely burnt-out and just chronic agitation.

On the horizon, though, is that old friend: vacation time. Just as I was beginning to feel defeated by the perils of my wintry suffering, I looked at my calendar and saw that I had approximately eleven days off from work (seven being business days.) Finally! My reprieve! This will be the longest amount of time away from my desk (and any sort of desk for that matter) since I started working  part-time last March. Even though I'm not going somewhere tropical, just the thought of leaving unpredictable and unseasonably cold New England for a week and a half is enough to light a fire within me. The transition from college to working full-time has been a difficult one, and even moreso when you factor in that real life does not give you a break -- any breaks. I haven't had my usual month off in the winter to collect myself and re-charge, nor have I had three consecutive months to sleep in, stay out late and enjoy the sunshine. Yes, I realize I may sound a bit whiny -- but after 16-17 years of being subject to a year filled with ample breaks and time-off, it can be jarring and disconcerting not just to your routine, but to your overall being. It doesn't help that US companies aren't exactly known for their generosity when it comes to paid-time-off. I am stuck at my cubicle for eight hours a day, five days a week and then trapped in my car for at least another fifteen hours a week -- who has two thumbs and is in dire need of a break? THIS GIRL!

Suffice to say, I am extremely excited for my 11-day excursion. I definitely need time to be away from my usual routine to re-charge my batteries and take on springtime (if it ever comes to Boston). Hopefully, I will return in April feeling inspired (and motivated to write lots of new posts!) 

Working Girl

I did it -- I survived my first week (well, three days) of work! Does this make me a full-fledged adult? Maybe not, but I certainly seem more like one. I will be getting a regular and consistent paycheck, making a commute into the city and becoming part of a new team. I can't say I'm not looking forward to a bit of consistency and stability. I can finally add something new to my resume, afford to buy that new car and gain a bit of financial independence in general. Though I am excited to move on to a new chapter in my life, I have to admit that the transition from college life to work life is a challenge. I spent my last semester enjoying the perks of a late morning start, being with my friends all of the time, and immersing myself in my classes. Now, I have to be up and in the car before 8 o'clock to insure a punctual arrival to work and spend the day inside an office. It's a shock to my system, to say the least.

I suppose I'm being faced with this reality much sooner than my other 2012 counterparts, but I know that everyone else has and will go through this. My four month stint of unemployment lulled me into a false sense of comfort. Even with my part-time job, I had minimum responsibilities. I could stay up late, wake up late, leisurely go about my daytime schedule and still have time to spare. Now, I'm adjusting to a brand new routine. I've never had to factor a lengthy commute into my day and plan my lunches ahead of time. Sure, I realize that all of this might sound petty and trivial when pretty much everyone needs to work, but I only mean to say that I was used to one sort of lifestyle for basically 3.5 years and now, that semi-flexible schedule has turned into a regimented dosage of reality. I have no doubt I can do it and adjust -- I am a hard-worker and I am determined -- but that doesn't mean it's not a challenge.

One day in particular was especially hard. I'm still a bit unfamiliar with the area I'm working in, so I need to use my GPS to help navigate around the city. I was late to work that morning due to traffic and it took me an hour and a half to get home that night (without traffic, I live about 20-30 minutes outside of the city.) I was so frustrated. All I wanted to do was get home, go to the gym and eat dinner, but I saw my time frame to do those things getting pushed back as my car slowly inched along. By the time I got home, I was beyond stressed out. I went straight to the gym to try to exercise my frustration away, then came home, ate dinner by myself, showered and basically went to bed. I know that, for many people, this is reality, but this hadn't been my reality before. I felt slightly imprisoned by my own schedule -- but I knew that I was going to have to make a new schedule and get used to my new daily routine.

I'll admit, this whole change is overwhelming. My entry-level job isn't exactly what I thought it would be. It isn't a bad job -- but I think I failed to take into consider what an entry-level job is: a point of entry into a career. I'm not going to get a ton of responsibility or exciting assignments because I haven't had the chance to showcase my capabilities yet. That responsibility may come eventually, but it won't come in a week, and that's something I'm going to have to work towards. I did really well in school -- I have the GPA to prove it -- but that's because I was so good at it and I knew what I needed to do to excel. This job thing is a bit different. I'm tackling a few new elements here: a commute, an office environment, new people and a whole new set of tasks.

I will call upon a ridiculously hackneyed, yet useful saying for now: Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm not going to become suddenly acclimated to my new routine. BUT, in time, it can happen -- and it will. It's certainly a learning process for me, but then again, what in life isn't?

I'll be sure to share more of my work week with you in the mean time... I will have to figure out where blogging fits into my new routine :)

Being a Busy Bee

Cute AND capable of helping you sort out your life. That's legit.

I can't believe it -- but I have actually been busy recently. I know, I know. Pick your jaw up from the floor and continue reading, if you can push past the awe and amazement. It's true. My days are no longer consumed by boredom, endless internet job searches and chit-chatting with my dog. Instead, I have been spending most of my time at the mall in my new sales associate position and in between shifts, eating, sleeping and catching up on my reality TV.

I feel like I'm old me again. I bought a really cute planner from Lilly Pulitzer and for a while, I worried that the only thing I'd be able to write in it was "go to gym," "take dog for walk," or even worse, "remember to change out of pajamas in the morning." Lately, my planner has been filled with my work schedule, my impending vacation days (going to Puerto Rico next week!), seeing the Hunger Games, a second interview for t hat manuscript assistant position and a day of learning how to blog bettah with other Boston bloggers (more on that in a later post, I promise).

While in school, so much of my identity was tied to the fact that I was a student pursuing a particular degree, but now that I am out of school, I am trying to figure out how exactly to identify myself now. I can't cling onto my intended major or even my student status in my post-graduate heydey. Instead, between my newfound busy schedule, I'm constantly re-evaluating what it is I want, like and am. Generally, that is a bit overwhelming, and even more so when doing all of that heavy thinking in the midst of an ever-changing schedule. I have so many things happening at once -- a new job, interview for another job, maintaining somewhat of a social life -- that even putting it into my new planner doesn't necessarily mitigate the stress.

One of said busy weeks filled with lots to do... Ask me if I did everything I had set out to do...

For now, I'm trying to take things one day at a time. My job search is certainly not at its end. I have big plans ahead -- grad school and, improving my blog (for all of my lovely readers, of course) to name a few -- and I want to make sure I'm in an advantageous position to get where I want to be. Being busy is great, but only when keeping my eye on the prize... which is still yet to be entirely determined.

You can tell when I actually started getting busy/got the planner...

Let's Go to the Mall

It's official, folks. I have a job -- albeit, a part-time job at the mall working as a sales associate -- but a job with an actual paycheck nevertheless. Cue Robin Sparkles' above hot single "Let's Go to the Mall" from one of my favorite TV shows "How I Met Your Mother."  (I've watched a lot of TV these past few months of unemployment.)

Of course, this new gig isn't necessarily ideal. When you graduate from college with your Bachelors degree, you're expecting something more in-line with your career goals. And while I certainly love shopping and clothes, I didn't think I'd be back in retail after 3.5 years of a college education. Now, I'm certainly not trying to imply that working in retail isn't a good job -- it is -- but I have career goals that lie outside of the mall. However, while I'm trying to figure out exactly which career path to take and whether or not grad school is definitely on the horizon, I want to work. Maybe it's not exactly what I was looking for as a recent grad, but I'm certainly ready to do something aside from my usual routine of walking the dog, going to the gym and doing chores around the house.

In the meantime, my job search continues. I'm supposed to have a second interview for that manuscript assistant position I mentioned in an earlier post, and I'm still trying to look into new opportunities. As for grad school, the thought, at this point, overwhelms me. Sadly, it's the financing of grad school that has me more hesitant than ever, even though I miss the classroom. That is a decision I will definitely be mulling over as the impending deposit deadline looms over me. Like I've said before, I'm in the era of big decisions, but for now, I will be making those in between shifts at the mall.