What a Tangled Web We Weave

Now that you're all caught up with my vacation adventures, I suppose it's time to fill you in with the latest in my job search. After all, this blog is supposed to document my ups and downs of job hunting as a recent grad, right? I digress.
A little less than a week before leaving for Puerto Rico, my job hunt took an interesting turn in a matter of about fifteen minutes or so -- all while brushing my teeth in the morning. If you've been following my blog, you'll know that I've been working part-time at the mall. This was filling up my weeks quite nicely, and that morning, I had to be at work by 9AM, so as you can imagine, I was busy getting ready. However, during my morning frenzy, I got a phone call regarding the manuscript assistant job I had interviewed for a few weeks ago -- I got the job. I was excited. Just about three or so months of job hunting and I was being offered full-time employment -- that was a huge step. Of course, big decisions should not be handled lightly, and now that my employment opportunity went from hypothetical to realistic, I had to reconsider all of the pros and cons. I hung up the phone, picked up my toothbrush and was now brushing my teeth with a sort of vigor that could only be attributed to the butterflies in my stomach and the urgency to get to my current part-time gig on time.
Of course, as I alluded to, mid-brush, only a mere minute or two after my first phone call, I was getting another phone call from a number I didn't recognize. My mouth filled with toothpaste, I obviously wasn't going to pick up the phone and I did have somewhere I needed to be in about 20 minutes (at that point, that was my job and my commitment and I couldn't let my excitement get the best of me). I let the caller go to voicemail and then played it on speakerphone while finishing up my morning routine. On the phone was a woman from a communications company asking if I could come in for an interview for a publicist position. I was in shock. I had gone from working part-time at the mall to being offered a job and an interview opportunity in less than five minutes. This other job had great potential and room for growth, so I greedily decided that I would take the interview.

I managed to schedule an interview for the next day and went in to discuss the potential job opportunity. Some of the pressure was off, I'll admit. Even if this interview didn't work out, I had another job waiting for me, and by the same token, not only was it good practice to interview, but I could potentially have an even better offer. However, I couldn't help but wonder if I was engaging in some sort of job taboo. I was delaying my decision of the other position pending more information from the interview. Was it wrong for me to do that? When I thought about it, I decided it wasn't. A friend of mine put it in perspective for me. He said, "Don't you think that if the CEO of a company had to choose between him keeping his job and you keeping your job, he'd let you go in a second?" I had to admit it; he was right. Entry-level employees can sometimes be expendable and replaceable. Sounds pessimistic, but in this economy, it's true. If you're not contributing, you can be replaced with someone better and/or cheaper, and when it comes to your own career, you do need to be a little selfish (though I wouldn't advocate selfish motivation as a prime motivator). It's just another lesson learned as I go through the job search.

So you might ask now, how did the interview turn out and did I accept that other job offer? I thought that the interview went well. I was really interested, but when I asked about benefits, including salary compensation, I wasn't thrilled with what I could potentially be offered. In an effort to jumpstart my career and my independence, I decided to accept the initial job offer and let the cards fall where they may (sorry for a cliche!). You never know until you try and I figured it was time to give this whole full-time employment thing a shot.

Identity Crisis

As I've mentioned in a previous post about the pros and cons of the unemployed life, one of my biggest daily struggles is coming up with an adequate answer to the question of "how is the job hunt going?" A seemingly innocent and harmless question usually asked with the best of intentions or at least to make conversation. At the same time, I usually cringe a bit on the inside when faced with that question, and even worse, the question of what exactly I want to do.

So much hinges on your career and what it is you want to do -- more so than I guess it would seem. While in college, the biggest question I was asked was "what is your major?" I feel as though now that I'm out in the real world, I now have to define who I am and my interests by what career path I choose and the job that comes along with it. But right now, my prospective career and job are elusive concepts to me. With two months of unemployment under my belt, I am constantly re-evaluating what it is that I am looking for out of a career. My "About Me" page begins to touch upon some of what I want out of a job: a "love of writing, reading, meeting new people/being part of a team and engaging in something that has the ability to be creative and challenge/influence people" that can be merged with the some of the "things I love" in some way -- if at all possible. But trying to sift through job searches and LinkedIn pages for a job that encompasses all of that is a tall order and generally overwhelming.

I wouldn't say that the title of this post is implying that I, myself, am having an "identity crisis," but I think more of what I meant by it is that I feel as though I could end up being defined by the job I choose or the career path I take. I know that when I told people my majors (English Literature and Italian studies) that, inevitably, they would mentally place me into this certain niche with what they assume English Lit. and language majors to be. I have been placing a lot of pressure on myself to find an entry level position that will serve as a stepping stone towards my ultimate career goal of hopefully getting into media -- whether print or digital -- because I fear what will happen if I don't. I have accomplished a lot up until this point: a stellar GPA, great skills through past work experience and a successful overseas internship, but it's daunting to think that I could end up settling for something that doesn't utilize or demonstrate any of that, and even worse, inhibits my future goals.

Throughout this period of unemployment, boredom and job hunting, I have definitely experienced quite a range of emotions. I think the most important thing I have learned thus far is to try to stay focused on what my end goal is and what I need to do to get there. Even though, at this point, I know I'm probably going to have to get a job that might not be exactly what I want to do and might not even be full-time, I need to remember that it does not need to necessarily define me or negate my previous accomplishments, but instead, hope that it will enable me to gain more confidence and a greater sense of independence that will hopefully translate into a re-energized job search and better results.
I appreciate all of you who read my blog and continue to stick with me while I continue my job search and go through the ups-and-downs of post-graduate life. I know it's a process and transition that every one faces at one point or another and it's nice to know that I have a little fan-base supporting me as I go through all of this.

Thank you!