What's Next?

Ah, Bloggerverse. It's always a challenge trying to communicate news and change to you, my followers. How much of an introduction should I give to said news? Should I ease into it? Should I just let my title give it away? Are these rhetorical questions enough of a build-up to stir some anxiety and anticipation within you as you now begin to wonder what it is I am going to tell you?

This story goes all the way back to last fall as I braced myself for life's big transition: from student to adult -- leaving the undergrad world for the cold, harsh reality of working hard for my money and moving back home with the "roomies." By that December as I neared my last few weeks at school, I had done minimal job hunting, lots of fun-having and only a little bit of philosophical thinking. While considering my options as I approached this inevitable change, I decided that, perhaps, I should return to the classroom the following fall to continue my education and pursue a masters degree. I did what I needed to do to make it happen: requested reference letters and transcripts, took the GREs, wrote required essays, and completed several applications -- applying to four schools and patiently waiting to hear whether my pursuit into another realm of higher education would continue come the fall of 2012.

After graduating, I was even more set on returning to grad school. It made sense. I loved being in the classroom, I wanted another degree, and I had the momentum from only just recently finishing up my undergraduate degree. I was ready. I was eager... and then I was torn. As I received acceptances and rejections, I realized: this was going to be an expensive endeavor and was I really sure? Was I willing to make a commitment to this costly continuation of my education right now? I wasn't 100% dedicated to the degree I had applied to pursue (journalism) and the cost of tuition was daunting. I made the decision to postpone my return to grad school until I was more certain of the degree I wanted to pursue and that grad school, in general, was a step I wanted to take.

As the first few months of summer went by, I was a 9-to-5 ingenue. Only having been at my job for so long, being a cubicle crony was still a novelty, and yet, the thought of returning to grad school was still lingering in my mind. I had since given more thought to the degree path I wanted to pursue, exploring a variety of options and programs, doing more research than I had ever done as an undergrad into the prospect of going back to school. I was more aware and realistic this time. I knew what needed to be done, what it would cost and the compromises I was willing to make.

So I applied. Again. This time, though, I applied to communications-based programs (such as public relations and integrated marketing communications) and one fashion program. I re-wrote the essays, re-requested the transcripts and reference letters and filled out a few more applications this time. I wrote down deadlines, requirements and filed important emails away for reference. I wasn't kidding around this time -- I knew, for sure, that I wanted to go back to school. I missed writing essays, engaging in scholarly discussion/debate and immersing myself in a wholly academic atmosphere where the people around me wanted to be there and also wanted to learn. I missed that. I needed the challenging intellectual stimulation that my desk job just wasn't giving me. I wasn't satisfied with my cubicle confinement and I had the urge to learn -- an urge that, I have a feeling, never has (and probably never will) leave me.

I continued at my desk job, waiting for a response from the various schools and this time, it was even more positive. I got into 5/6 schools and of those schools' acceptances, I got very generous scholarships to each. This time, the ball was in my court -- each school had given me great offers and I was no longer in a position where I needed to scrounge for dollars and cents to make it all work. Inside, I was elated -- an internal fiesta took place as I celebrated these little victories, finally culminating after years of hard work as a student.I could return to school and I wasn't going to go broke in the process! Isn't that what we all aspire to accomplish in this day and age?

My decision was tough -- I battled with the pros and cons of each school, but ultimately, it came down to two, which were both excellent options. One would have required me to take a pre-requisite undergraduate class, move to the South and take out a lot more in loans; the other would allow me to stay local, offering me a very generous financial package and teaching assistantship and the option of spending my last semester interning and taking classes in London. Ultimately, I accepted the offer to the local school -- they have an excellent program, a great alumni base and a positive reputation for post-graduate employment opportunities. Plus, their generous financial package allows me to take out very minimal loans (if I even have to). I can breathe a big sigh of relief -- I am finally going to make it happen.

So there you have it, folks. I am returning to the classroom this fall -- both as a student and as a teacher. I'll admit, I'm equally excited and nervous to make the transition back to school, since I've spent the last year working, but I think I'm ready. I'll prepare for the new challenge and you can prepare yourselves for some new blog posts -- how's that sound?

In the words of Billy Madison, here goes nothin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMtkiS1SU_c

When "Unfriending" Gets Personal

from everydaypeoplecartoons.com

When things go sour offline, should you make a change online? This is the sort of question I pondered as I realized that some of my Facebook friends were less “friend” and more “frenemy” of sorts. These people, once an integral and involved part of my life, now had drifted towards mere association and, to cue Gotye, perhaps even somebody that I used to know. They had at times been privy to my innermost secrets, thoughts and opinions, were up-to-date on all of the happenings of my life and shared many an inane inside joke with me. But now? The only entity dubbing us “friends” and maintaining that pseudo-connection was Facebook. So do I keep up the illusion of a friendship via internet or sever the Facebook ties?

I’m sure, if you’ve read a few of my posts, you would classify this as “classic Angela – overanalyzing a simple situation,” but in this age of overexposure, where everything in your life seems to be offered up for public consumption, I feel as though this is a legitimate question.

Let’s take Facebook (and other social media platforms in general) out of the equation for a minute. Let’s think back to when “poking” required actual physical contact and, in order to find out what your friends were up to, you actually had to speak to them and ask them what they were up to. If you were to part ways with a friend or eventually fade from each other’s lives, that friend would no longer have access to the details of your life: where you were last weekend, whom you’re dating, what your thoughts are on Kimye’s bun in the oven. With Facebook? You can go your separate ways and still know exactly what the other person is doing all day every day just by glimpsing at your news feed.

But do they deserve to know? When you no longer play a role in that former friend’s life, should they really be allowed to know that you just entered into a relationship with someone new? That you celebrated a new promotion? That your goldfish died and you are in mourning? These are moments and experiences that you tend to want to share with the most important people in your lives – friends, yes; frenemies, no. I find it a little harrowing sometimes that people with whom I’m not very close can know so much about me without even needing to talk to me. Granted, maybe that’s a sign I should change my privacy settings or even whittle down my friend pool. However, I think, in terms of cutting ties with old friends, that it might just be another step to letting go and accepting the end of a friendship.

It is really difficult when you reach the end of a friendship with someone – whether due to mistakes made, transitioning through different parts of life or because you’ve grown apart – and I think it can be just as difficult to sever that tie online. This is the last remaining tie to that person. At the same time, if they (or you) have chosen not to be a part of your (their) life, then maybe that means they should no longer have access to the online equivalent of your life.  After all, if they wouldn’t hear about it from you personally in conversation, then maybe they shouldn’t be able to hear about it from an online source. Sounds a bit like Facebook is a gossip monger, spreading news to people who wouldn’t hear about it otherwise if not for Facebook’s big mouth!

Okay, but I digress. I suppose my only hesitation in “unfriending” is the inevitable implications – that I am being dramatic about the ending of said friendship, that the other person would even notice (or that I even show up on my former friend’s news feed), or maybe that it might even add fuel to the fire (a fire I don't want to re-ignite or make worse - seriously). I am sad enough that I even need to contemplate this with people I once considered best friends, but like I said before, it just might need to be part of accepting and respecting their wishes and moving on. I don’t know.

What I do know is that if friendship is defined as “a friendly relation or intimacy” (thanks dictionary.com), then Facebook friendships are certainly stretching that definition. When your relation with someone is no longer friendly nor intimate, then it might be time to “unfriend,” and prohibit that person’s access to details that they would only get if they still were friendly and intimate.

Ah, yes – if this doesn’t make you long for simpler times, then I don’t know what will. Maybe one day, you and those former friends (and former Facebook friends) will find a way back to each other again and move past things offline and eventually make your friendship Facebook official again as well. But in the mean time, I suppose it’s time to get to re-evaluating what friendship means to you – both online and offline.