Vacation All I Ever Wanted

Because everyone loves the Go-Go's...

Hard to believe, but April will mark my one-year anniversary at my current job. Last March, I was sitting around my house, moping in boredom still wearing my post-workout clothes, talking to my dog and voluntarily vacuuming the house. Since then, I've been facing a tough commute, the much-more-difficult-than-it-looks-task of walking upstairs in pencil skirts and going to bed early. I could actually be qualified as a real grown-up -- that is, if you wish to disregard the fact that my bedroom is down the hallway from my parents.

In reflecting on the past year of 9-to-5 fun, early mornings and eight hours per day with my computer screen, I realized something that should have already hit me: my life is now (and potentially forever) devoid of vacations. Okay, yes, I know -- DRAMATIC. But hear me out?

Many jobs offer vacation time to employees or paid-time-off of some sort, but that's not really what I'm talking about. When is the next time I'm going to be able to take a three month hiatus in the summer, only to return to my beloved seat come September? Sure, that happens K-12, and then in college, but then what? Where do my vacations go!? Will I ever be able to take that much time off ever again? Winter break, spring break and summer break become nothing but fond, distant memories of a time where wrinkles were non-existent, coffee was mainly used to assist in all-nighters rather than to survive workdays and you could still get a student discount at J.Crew.

Once you participate in the daily grind of office life, ditching study carrels for cubicles, the most you can hope for is a flexible company policy that gives you a generous amount of vacation time. Even then, don't count on summer vacation lasting from Memorial Day until after Labor Day. Cue hand to forehead: doh! 

I realize that this is something that should have occurred to me last spring, after graduating early and working throughout the summer whereas my recently graduated friends had the summer off before joining me in the dire workforce that fall; however, the novelty of working hadn't yet worn off and my new routine was still foreign enough to throw me off of my game. Now, as I approach that one-year-mark of working full time, I've noticed that it has all begun to sort of wear on me. The winter has been terrible, it's always cold and I am wavering between being completely burnt-out and just chronic agitation.

On the horizon, though, is that old friend: vacation time. Just as I was beginning to feel defeated by the perils of my wintry suffering, I looked at my calendar and saw that I had approximately eleven days off from work (seven being business days.) Finally! My reprieve! This will be the longest amount of time away from my desk (and any sort of desk for that matter) since I started working  part-time last March. Even though I'm not going somewhere tropical, just the thought of leaving unpredictable and unseasonably cold New England for a week and a half is enough to light a fire within me. The transition from college to working full-time has been a difficult one, and even moreso when you factor in that real life does not give you a break -- any breaks. I haven't had my usual month off in the winter to collect myself and re-charge, nor have I had three consecutive months to sleep in, stay out late and enjoy the sunshine. Yes, I realize I may sound a bit whiny -- but after 16-17 years of being subject to a year filled with ample breaks and time-off, it can be jarring and disconcerting not just to your routine, but to your overall being. It doesn't help that US companies aren't exactly known for their generosity when it comes to paid-time-off. I am stuck at my cubicle for eight hours a day, five days a week and then trapped in my car for at least another fifteen hours a week -- who has two thumbs and is in dire need of a break? THIS GIRL!

Suffice to say, I am extremely excited for my 11-day excursion. I definitely need time to be away from my usual routine to re-charge my batteries and take on springtime (if it ever comes to Boston). Hopefully, I will return in April feeling inspired (and motivated to write lots of new posts!) 

Finding Time for Friends... Really

At this point, you might be tired of me whining about never having enough time for anything. But people! Time is a precious thing -- there is never enough of it. Never enough of it, I tell you!

With that being said, I think one of the most difficult things about the transition from student to post-grad is finding time to maintain friendships. After all, there are big ships and small ships, but isn't the best ship of all friendship?

http://cheezburger.com/6570040576

With work schedules demanding at least 40 hours a week and friends living further than just across the quad, you actually have to put in time and effort in order to see people. Yes, effort. This means doing more than walking next door, knocking on your best friend's door and inviting them to walk with you 400 feet to serve yourself some mediocre pizza at that overly-expensive-dining hall, where you'll most likely bump into more friends, by accident, just because they had a hankering for that same mediocre pizza too.

Once we have all been forced out of the college bubble, the distance between us and our friends severely widens. What was once a hop, skip and a jump away now becomes an almost overwhelming chasm, filled with indeterminable despair and loneliness. Forget your cell phone in your dorm room? That's okay. You will most likely have class with a friend, pass a friend in the hallway, see someone at dinner or run into them at a Student Government meeting. There, you'll be able to catch up on all of the happenings in his/her life: how that upcoming test is going to be a killer, how his/her date went last night, what his/her thoughts are on Anne Hathaway's underwhelming Oscars dress (now you know my thoughts on that) and of course, how they enjoyed that mediocre pizza at the dining hall. There you go. You have checked in with your friend, spent time with said friend and have done what is needed to preserve that loving and special bond.

It's not like that anymore. Sure, technology has made it so that doing the quick check-in is easy: send a text or poke 'em on Facebook. Nothing says, "Hey, I miss you, dear friend" like a good, old-fashioned Facebook poke. A text/phone call/poke/whatever will satisfy the minimum requirement for friendship preservation. You let your friend know: "I'm still here! I'm thinking about you and I miss you!" However, if I actually want to see any one of my friends then it's going to take a bit more finagling than agreeing upon a time to high-five in passing while walking through the campus center in between classes. There's scheduling a time, a mutually convenient and accessible location, and factoring certain travel logistics before you can see said friend. Long gone are the days of passively keeping in touch. Maintaining friendships requires some TLC -- and perhaps, a well-organized planner.

These are the times that try men's souls. Some friendships will fade, others will re-emerge stronger than ever -- but one thing is certain, things are going to change. Sure, your undying love for your friends may still be etched onto your heart, but inevitably, your interactions are subject to the difficult transition from pseudo-adulthood to real-world-adulthood. A former boss of mine commented that this is when you will see who your real friends are, and while I think she makes a valid point, I think that this period of time reveals more about the nature of your friendship with so-and-so than whether or not they are a "real" friend. You realize whether or not your friendship was circumstantial or served some sort of purpose in your life. Was this friend a crutch? Did he/she accompany you to various (terrible) on-campus parties? Or was this someone with whom you shared an inexplainable bond? You know the sort -- inside jokes comprised of Justin Bieber songs, strange nicknames that could be mistaken for speech impediments, and memories including midnight trips to get Italian pastries and pouring Mike's Hard Lemonade down someone's shorts. I think this is why some friendships last and some don't: when you're not constantly surrounded by your friends, you realize which people are most important to you (and your well-being).

So you try the best you can. You call, you text, you poke, you Tweet -- but the key to making sure your bestie remains your bestie and not one-of-the-restie is making plans and keeping them. Easier said than done when you realize your time gets allocated quickly to other things such as working out, eating, sleeping and, of course, keeping plans with other good friends. Sometimes I find that I will make plans with a friend and then not see them for another month or two, simply because our schedules don't match up. Days go by, weeks go by, and you realize it's been over a month since you and your partner-in-crime spent Friday night getting drunk off of sangria while watching Say Yes to the Dress and crying about other people's tacky weddings.

There are going to be mishaps along the way. Let's be real. I may have my phone on me at all times, but I sometimes get way too invested in a re-run of 30 Rock to remember that I haven't talked to a certain biffle. It's not for lack of caring so much as it is a brain-fog that has descended on me as a result of being burnt-out from having too much to do. I have been trying to keep people in regular rotation via talk, text and tweet -- setting the wheels in motion through convenient technology in order to start a conversation that leads to a friend-date. I think what is most important about all of this is remembering to make time for your friends. You need to -- your sanity depends on it. I think it's also important to be realistic about how often you will be able to see your friends. We're all busy people doing busy people things, so it's only natural that we can't have a movie marathon all weekend or spend three nights in a row on some sort of alcohol-induced Sporcle bender. Don't get mad at me, but... you just might not be able to see your friends as much as you used to. Once you have a more realistic expectation about seeing and hanging out with your friends, it will be easier to make plans and not be (as) disappointed when your frequent hang-outs happen a little less frequently.

No one ever said that graduating and being an "adult" was going to be easy. Actually, I've mostly had people tell me that it is going to suck. I've even had one person tell me that my 20s are going to be the worst time of my life (AWESOME!), but you know what? I'm trying. I'm being a bit more realistic about my schedule, my free time and how to manage all of it and allow for more attainable expectations.

I think someday I will get the hang of it, but until then, I'm going to have to continue to work on this whole transition (still...even over a year later).

from cheezburger.com
Shout out to my friends. You guys are awesome.
I love you. Call me. Let's hang out.

An Ode to My Agenda

from someecards.com
I've scheduled time into my planner to write this post for you.
Just kidding... but that's not a bad idea actually...

One of my favorite things about heading back to school as a kid was when my homeroom teacher would hand me a brand-new agenda/planner. So many empty pages, vacant days, all with the promise (or  curse) of too much homework, extracurriculars, and good times. I was always so eager to write down my homework and after-school activities on each day, seeing my schedule fill up before my eyes -- my month laid out before me with so many things to do. I had a life! I had purpose! I had an agenda!

Not much changed when I got older -- except this time, I purchased my own planner and my days were no longer bound to six class periods and after-school specials.Still, I would secretly (I guess, not-so-secretly anymore...) cherish my agenda as my most prized posession (next to my shoes, of course) as I filled in days, weeks and months with things to do and happily checked off all of my tasks upon completion.

Yes, you've assessed me correctly: I'm a nerd. I'm an organized nerd. And I love it.

With my work schedule and commute being what it is, I've found that simply putting my schedule in my fancy, too-smart phone will just not do. Nothing every really seems as concrete as when you put it to paper, and that's how I like to handle my schedule. Writing down that appointment or dinner with a friend is solidified in my memory with the stroke of a pen. With only so many hours in a day, and most of those hours committed to being a big girl with a big girl job, I rely upon my beloved agenda to guide me towards organized personal life nirvana. 

Like those quaint days of yore, I over-enthusiastically fill each day of my calendar, usually writing down every single detail necessary to that task or event. Eye doctor appointment coming up? Here's the address, phone number, name of the doctor, amount of time required for visit and a little, drawn smiley-face with glasses to describe the event. Grad school applications due? Well, don't forget your resume, transcripts, GRE scores, reccommendation letters, and oh hey, thumbs up-- because good for you!

Maybe this makes me seem like an artifact, a leftover from days when people preferred books over iPads and pens over styluses, but it adds a sense of order to my usually, over-thinking and chaotic thoughts and life. If I only have so many hours after work for personal time, then I want to make sure that I am utilizing them to the fullest. This might have "control freak!" written all over it -- but if I've learned anything from a busy four years at college, it's to remember to have fun! (duh)...but also, I've learned that it helps to visualize your schedule and what you need to do. I try to leave room on my schedule as well for completely unscheduled time: blank spaces in my agenda meant for whatever spontaneous urge may arise. While it might sound ridiculous (especially to those of you who don't write anything down), I find that after working eight hours and driving for three, I want to make sure that I am actually getting things done and not always letting the stress of the work week defeat me. Certainly, I use my iPhone as well, but like I said before,  as the paper absorbs the ink, I absorb my schedule -- making it easier to remember and imprinted in my memory (poetic, right?)

So why have I shared this with all of you? I suppose I just wanted to offer some insight into how I try to manage my life these days (even though, apparently, this is how I've managed my time since I was about 11 years old.) I have had trouble adjusting to my schedule, despite (like I touch upon in my previous post) having been at my job for almost a year. I find that by planning things in advance and writing events/tasks/deadlines down in my agenda, I can find a way to eliminate some of the stress that's been induced by my commute or long day, and stick to doing the things that keep me sane and healthy (meeting up with friends, doctor's appointments, yoga classes, etc).

How have you managed the transition from a flexible college schedule to the more rigid 9-to-5? Do you rely on ol' faithful (A.K.A. the archaic weekly planner) or your smartypants phones?

Let me know. Maybe we can discuss sometime? I can pencil you in.

Time & Punishment: The Dreaded Commute

No...but really...THIS IS MY LIFE

Almost one year later of participating in the 9-to-5 grind, and I can't say that I've become accustomed to my commute or work-week schedule. When I first started coming to work, I was assured that the mind-numbing hours spent in traffic would eventually become so ingrained into my everyday life that the overwhelming irritability and anxiety I was (and still am) experiencing, trapped inside my car twice a day to-and-fro, would become a distant memory. Well, just shy of hitting my one-year-mark of Boston traffic, I beg to differ. If anything, the anxiety continues to mount as my car inches along the highway -- a discouraging 50MPH under the speed limit -- cursing myself for listening to those previous naysayers. Trapped in my Hyundai, staring at fellow commuters through their windows, hoping not to see anyone pick their nose, I hope that my right foot doesn't give out on me. Even worse, I try not to let my mind wander, while sitting in this temporary highway parking lot, for fear that I will put my car in park and see if I can run home faster than my car can drive there.

Inevitably, when you're stuck in a little steel casing for over three hours a day for your commute, you tend to wonder what you're doing, well, with those three hours a day that you will never get back. I am left having a "Sisyphus" moment, wondering about the futility of it all -- driving back and forth to work, only to wake up the next morning and do it all over again without any sense of purpose or mission. Ah yes, typical Angela, veering towards over-dramatic and revealing all of her neuroses -- but when you're spending all of this travel time to drive towards an entry-level job with an entry-level salary with entry-level work... Well, not to sound ungrateful for having a job (I am lucky to have a good job), but you might become a bit frustrated. 

I have to make tentative time commitments after work -- frequently falling victim to the spontaneous and unexplainable two or two-and-a-half-hour commutes home, causing me to cancel appointments scheduled after-hours. I've missed dinner reservations, been forced to make friends wait over a half an hour for me, and ultimately, arrived home giving me only 12 hours before I needed to get back into the car to drive back towards work. Sure, the 9-to-5 is filling up my wallet, but it certainly has emptied out my bank account of time. A stressful drive means I arrive to my destination aggravated, stressed, irritated and ultimately, fuming. My free time -- my life -- is pushed to the wayside all so that I can arrive at a cubicle, answer phone calls and click my mouse around a few times a day. While I appreciate my job and the opportunity it is giving me, I feel as though I fight to figure out what this is all really for and if it is worth this much anxiety.

Again, I don't mean to sound like a whiny brat (although, I'm sure I do right now) -- but I think this draws upon a bigger issue for post-grads accepting these entry level jobs. We essentially end up putting up with less than desirable conditions (low salaries, long hours, bad commutes) because we simply want to have jobs. We graduate with degrees that provide this illusion of security and success. Our degrees promise us that we will find something for which we are qualified and at which we will use all of our learned skills, drawing upon so much potential. And yet, we wind up doing data-entry for eight-hours a day. Is this okay? I don't know, really. After all, you need to start somewhere, and it isn't going to be at the top. You need to put in time and hard work before you can expect to be sitting pretty. That's the way things work. Certainly, I am still here putting up with my commute, but I can't say I am happy with sitting my car for upwards of 20 hours a week.

Clearly, having a job with a bad commute comes at the cost of my personal life (and, more importantly my sanity.) Like I said before, I can't always commit to something after work. Even when I do, I have to make sure it's late enough to insure that I am not inconveniencing other people. The longer I sit in traffic, the more irritable I become and the less likely it is that I even want to do anything -- just feeling defeated and useless. My commute ends up taking away the free time I need to insure that I arrive at work the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to be productive. Instead, I feel as though I wind up being resentful and exhausted -- definitely not the fore-bearers of efficiency and productivity. (You can even ask my mom...you do NOT want to talk to me while I am in traffic or after a long ride home...)

So what is the solution? Obviously, many people would suggest either moving closer to my job or find a new job closer to my current living situation. Is that possible though? With my budget being what it is (and my meager salary), an apartment closer to the city means having to forego food and furniture (are those things really that important anyway?). And finding a new job? Well, that is opening a whole other can of worms (dive through my blog's earliest posts of yesteryear). Then, there's always the option of working earlier hours; however, that doesn't actually solve anything -- it merely shifts my time in traffic and forces me to wake up earlier and go to bed later. I wish I could opt for telecommuting, but that seems to be an option allowed for employees with seniority rather than plebeians living life at the bottom of the food-chain.

And that leaves me... here...heading back to my car to fight traffic per usual. So tell me, how do you preserve your sanity while in traffic? What do you think is the best option for those of us who deal with lengthy and tiring commutes? Is there any option?

Or should I just stop ranting now?

This has been a public service announcement sponsored by my over-listened-to-playlists and tired right foot.

The Sands of Time

I gained some momentum the past few weeks with the blog posts -- I know, I know, you were impressed -- but clearly, I have slowed down. Blame my post- Valentine's Day haze. It was probably all of the chocolate I ate.

Get excited, though. I have a series (yes -- you heard me -- series) of posts coming up all having to do with the most elusive and mysterious of all things: TIME. Each installment will focus on an aspect of time management and having a busy schedule: the stuff of grown-ups. Fun stuff, right?

Be there or be square.

SNOW DAY?!

Unfortunately, this post is less about the movie and more about the actual  day itself.
from movies.tvguide.com

Let me first start off by saying: I am not a cold-weather-loving gal. I am cold for about eight months out of the year, hate piling on layers of clothing and can barely navigate through snowy weather – regardless of whether it’s on foot or by car. However, as a kid, bound to the seemingly intolerable structure that my school schedule demanded of me, I would eagerly anticipate the snow fall and its implications of potential freedom from what I then considered the “daily grind.” Never one to tempt fate, I would do all of my homework the night before while keeping my eyes glued to the scrolling queue at the bottom of the TV, which seemed to grant every other young student their wish for a day filled with sleeping in, sledding, hot chocolate and movie marathons. Every time the list would get closer to the Bs (the first letter of the town I lived in), my heart would race, palms would sweat and I’d offer up a plethora of sacrifices to the Snow Gods in exchange for the beloved “snow day.”  Once I saw my school’s name stretch across the screen, I was immersed in a single moment of pure euphoria.

However many years later, I still experience that same aching anticipation at the prospect of a “snow” day. This time, though, instead of avoiding a six-hour-day filled with geometry, the joys of physical education and twenty-minutes surviving the socially-abhorrent and “click”-ridden cafeteria, I would be avoiding a ten-hour-long-commute and eight-hour slavery to my computer screen. At the first sign of snowfall, my mind races with thoughts of “working from home,” enabling me to cuddle up on my couch and go about my usual work business, all while watching the entire first season of Downton Abbey. Of course, I realize this “snow day” is a bit different from the ones I was used to in those earlier years; however, I still feel a reprieve from a demanding work schedule and find that a little disruption in my routine goes a long way in making me feel refreshed for the next day of work. I know that some people do this every day, but when you’re chained to an excessively long commute and less-than-desirable office position, the opportunity to be uprooted and welcome a bit of “chaos” from the norm is enough to make you jump up and down in your onesie you have probably specifically saved for the cold and snowy occasion.

With the impending blizzard upon New England, I find myself treating Thursday like it’s Friday (just like I used to in the pre-post-grad era!) and looking forward to answering work emails in the company of my dog. Sure, this snow day is pre-empted by my company’s wish to keep its employees safe and out of the potential danger that associates itself with obnoxious amounts of snowfall – but the euphoria is no different from that I felt in yesteryears.

Stay warm peeps.

Let's Get Physical

I am not going to pretend to be one of those girls who runs around in cute sneakers all the time, regularly travelling to and from the gym, high on life and the rubber fumes coming from her yoga mat. In fact, for a long time, I didn't really work out at all. Eventually I realized, after gaining the dreaded freshman fifteen (courtesy of double stuffed Oreos and chocolate ice cream), that maybe I should try this whole "exercise" thing -- other people seemed to like it, it was healthy and I certainly couldn't deny that I wasn't longing for a more lithe and slender body. 

Since then, I have been trying to find some sort of fitness regimen that meshed with my whole on-again-off-again relationship with working out. I love the feeling I get after a good workout, but have a difficult time cramming it in before or after work. You know how it is, it takes forever to get to and from work, then you're at work, and the last thing you want to do when you get home is an activity that claims to be another form of "work." In lieu of working out, you could be going to bar trivia, getting a haircut, watching trashy reality TV -- SO many other things you could be doing that could make you equally happy, even if it won't get rid of your beer belly. True, some people would classify these things as "excuses" (just ask Tufts Health Plan), but gosh darnit, you're just trying to find a way to manage it all!

I understand your problems. I fight this same fight. I am you. Obviously, when I was between graduation and my job, I had plenty of time for working out. I had too much free time to even have an excuse. But now? All work, some play, and little time for lifting things up and putting them down. The Christmas cookies have done their damage and I must do penance.

Like I said, I do enjoy working out, but where does the time go?! I've been trying to integrate it into my routine and find ways to make it more convenient. For starters, I have cancelled my gym membership. I know, this seems counter-productive, but I hadn't used it in three months. At $10 a month, that's $30 I could have used towards something cute and sparkly (or, more productively, towards a car loan payment.) I decided that I needed to stick to a fitness regimen that made sense for me. Driving to the gym after work seemed so cumbersome to me that I started to dread just getting there, so I eliminated the driving aspect. After all, I have a treadmill, dumbbells, medicine balls, etc. at home. If your home becomes your gym, then that leaves little room for ways out of exercising.

I've found that since doing more of my workouts at home, I can manage to fit in at least 30 minutes of exercise a few times a week easily. Instead of quickly flipping through Cosmo's fitness section, I've been ripping out workout suggestions. Suddenly, the TV is no longer an enabler to my propensity for lounging and laziness, but instead, home to a myriad of personal fitness instructors (thanks OnDemand!). I got a bit creative, saved a few bucks, and have found a way to make my fitness regimen more convenient.

Sure, there is certainly something to be said about separating where you workout from where you relax and spend your personal time. If you're at the gym, there is really little else to do other than work out and with everyone else exercising, I suppose there is pressure to be doing the same thing. However, if you're at home, who's going to call you out for eating an entire box of Cap'n Crunch on the couch while watching a Harry Potter TV marathon? Unless you have a talking pet (which would be awesome), I doubt you'll be answering to anyone except the indigestion you potentially have later. You are the only person able to hold yourself accountable, but I suppose that is true of most things in life.

So how goes my quest for health and a bikini bod? So far, not so bad. Luckily, I have a sort of neighborhood "fitness support group," if you will, with whom I try new workouts and have just recently started getting into yoga (more on both in later posts), which help me to follow-through on working out. As always, it's a work in progress, but being able to have an extra piece of chocolate cake always acts as a great motivator...

Being a Busy Bee

Cute AND capable of helping you sort out your life. That's legit.

I can't believe it -- but I have actually been busy recently. I know, I know. Pick your jaw up from the floor and continue reading, if you can push past the awe and amazement. It's true. My days are no longer consumed by boredom, endless internet job searches and chit-chatting with my dog. Instead, I have been spending most of my time at the mall in my new sales associate position and in between shifts, eating, sleeping and catching up on my reality TV.

I feel like I'm old me again. I bought a really cute planner from Lilly Pulitzer and for a while, I worried that the only thing I'd be able to write in it was "go to gym," "take dog for walk," or even worse, "remember to change out of pajamas in the morning." Lately, my planner has been filled with my work schedule, my impending vacation days (going to Puerto Rico next week!), seeing the Hunger Games, a second interview for t hat manuscript assistant position and a day of learning how to blog bettah with other Boston bloggers (more on that in a later post, I promise).

While in school, so much of my identity was tied to the fact that I was a student pursuing a particular degree, but now that I am out of school, I am trying to figure out how exactly to identify myself now. I can't cling onto my intended major or even my student status in my post-graduate heydey. Instead, between my newfound busy schedule, I'm constantly re-evaluating what it is I want, like and am. Generally, that is a bit overwhelming, and even more so when doing all of that heavy thinking in the midst of an ever-changing schedule. I have so many things happening at once -- a new job, interview for another job, maintaining somewhat of a social life -- that even putting it into my new planner doesn't necessarily mitigate the stress.

One of said busy weeks filled with lots to do... Ask me if I did everything I had set out to do...

For now, I'm trying to take things one day at a time. My job search is certainly not at its end. I have big plans ahead -- grad school and, improving my blog (for all of my lovely readers, of course) to name a few -- and I want to make sure I'm in an advantageous position to get where I want to be. Being busy is great, but only when keeping my eye on the prize... which is still yet to be entirely determined.

You can tell when I actually started getting busy/got the planner...