Choosing a Path

Today, I had a few brief, but very poignant conversations with two different friends (at two different, unrelated times) about figuring out one’s path in life. I realize this sounds incredibly philosophical, which might deter half of my readers (leaving me with a fraction of a human being), but I assure you, despite however philosophical it might seem, I guarantee it is a subconscious question posed to yourself every day.

With friend one, the question was not even trying to be deep or insightful -- the topic of “figuring out one’s path” blossomed from simple, polite, small talk. You know the kind: “Hi, how are you?” and “How’s your job?” This, inevitably, will be answered either with “The job is great -- I love it!” as a way to placate your partner in conversation and steer them onto a more interesting topic (unless your job is really interesting) OR, if you’re like me, you will be brutally honest and respond with “It’s boring. Hate my commute. I need to find something else.” Of course, therein lies the issue: what is next? Clearly, we all know I have a problem coming up with the answer to that question, since my blog’s premise embodies exactly that question; however, it is something that everyone asks themselves. What sort of job do I want to do next? What will make me happy? Should I go to Dunkin Donuts and get a coffee? What should I do with my life after I get that coffee?

My friend offered some practical advice: talk to people who are in a field/industry that interests you or who have a job that you could potentially want and figure out what you have to do to get there. This isn’t a job interview, by any means -- just a simple conversation with someone who has experience and insider information who can provide you with advice on how to forge a path for yourself and figure out if their path is something you might want to mimic or learn from. When my friend told me this, I responded with a resounding “Hmph.” It’s like that moment when you’re watching an infomercial and you think to yourself: “Well, gosh, I could have come up with that! Why didn’t I think of it first?!” But you didn’t. And this is why you need to seek advice from people who might know better.

Later in the day, I was talking to another friend. This time, amidst a conversation that stretched from discussing a funny video on YouTube to the contents of our lunches, the dire and depressing notion of not knowing what to do with our lives became a topic. A mutual friend had just found a new job and was moving on, leading my friend to pronounce “I have no path” -- a very dire and depressing notion. This statement snowballed into not knowing what sort of path she wanted to be on, and I admit, I could relate. Being a 20-something, there are only few things we are certain of: student loans, still being regularly carded and usually not falling prey to some sort of acid indigestion.

Being certain of exactly what sort of path we want to be on is rare. And you know what? I think that’s okay. Knowing what path you want to be on requires knowing yourself to a certain extent, and at 22-years-old, I don’t think I can say I know myself to the point where I can be 100% sure of what it is I want to do with the rest of my life. That’s a lot of pressure for someone who can’t even commit to a hair color for more than a year, don’t you think?

I think the best one can do is zero in on what we are good at and what we are passionate about and hope to pursue those things. At least if we’re figuring out our strengths and weaknesses, then we might be in a better position to learn how to capitalize on those strengths and improve upon those weaknesses and find a path that allows us to accomplish both of those things.

For now, I am still trying to determine which path I should pursue. I know that I am not exactly happy with where I am now -- but I do think that is part of figuring it all out. I at least have learned enough to know what I don’t want, and slowly, but surely, I am compiling a list that will enable me and empower me to pursue the path that will lead me to happiness.

Sorry -- that got a bit philosophical at the end there, but hey, I did warn you. Sort of.

150 days late and a dollar short

I realize it has been about five months since I last posted (although, that last post consisted strictly of haikus, so I don't even know if I should be allowed to consider that a post), and in internet-land, that is pretty much the kiss of death. You just can't abandon your blog and your followers like that, even if your following is a mere six people on a good day.

Well, I wish I had a good excuse for it, but I don't. The fact of the matter is part of this whole navigating post-grad life thing is figuring out how to fit all of the things you want to do into your life and new routine. Once I got a job, I realized that some of the things I had more than enough time for began to fall lower on my priority scale as a lengthy commute and long day drained any and all motivation I had to do the things I used to do all the time, such as go to the gym and blog. Factor in trying to maintain the same social life I had prior to 40-hour work weeks, and I would return home after work and a night out exhausted, only to be wishing for more hours in a day.

So where does that leave me now, you may ask? Since starting my job in April, I have been just another cog in the 9-to-5 machine. I have to leave the house at 7:30AM every morning to make it to work by 9, spend eight hours in the office, and then once 5PM arrives, I leave the office and make it home usually around 6:15. From there, I usually choose between two options: 1.) eat dinner, shower and go to bed OR 2.) eat dinner and then go out to meet up with my friends/boyfriend/etc. Usually, I choose option #2, considering it helps to maintain some sort of semblance of my sanity. It is all very routine and very tiring. I realize that everyone does this. All of America gets up, goes to work all day, goes home and then has to get up and do it all again the next day. But I feel like something's gotta give. I don't want to be driving for three hours a day to get to work, only to get there and feel dissatisfied with what I'm doing. I most certainly don't want my commute to be the most work I have to do all day either. I want to feel like I'm doing something.

I guess I am at the point where I am trying to figure out what's next. Yes, I realize that I was asking myself that same question almost a year ago as I was approaching the end of my college career. However, I feel like I'm at that same place again -- despite having applied to jobs and grad schools last year, finding a job (two jobs actually) and working, I still feel like I don't have any more direction than when I began that bit of soul-searching.

I realize that this has become a sort of rant and good luck to those of you who were able to follow it, but I suppose the point I am trying to make is that maybe I do need to start blogging again if only to find my voice that I seem to have lost along the way. And maybe finding that voice will allow me to figure out what it's going to take to make me happy in all aspects of life -- work, play, and whatever else seems to fall in the middle of all of that.

Thank you for bearing with me... Now, let's see if I can make this blogging thing a habit again, right?