Now What...Again

I officially turned down the internship offer yesterday and now I feel as though it's back to the drawing board. Though it was somewhat empowering to turn down an offer and recognize my own self-worth in the job market, I am still back where I started: without a job and without anything to do.

I try to keep reminding myself of all of the skills I can bring to the table with a potential new employer, but despite also trying to keep in mind that it has only been a month of job searching, I can't help but already start to feel a bit discouraged. Will I ever find a full-time job?

Right now, my daily schedule tends to consist of the same things: go to the gym, try to help out as much as I can around the house, talk to my dog, have a sandwich, watch TV/read and occasionally cook (not necessarily in that order, of course). I'd like to be able to start filling my days with something productive and settle into a routine. All of this free time is a bit overwhelming and instead of being able to fill it with small tasks and projects, I find myself only accomplishing maybe a few things and leaving other potential projects for later considering I have all of this free time so there are no looming deadlines.

Am I destined to be a perpetual couch potato who reads Tolstoy and watches too much of How I Met Your Mother? Or can I re-motivate myself and become excited about finding a job again? How do I do that when I have only received one job offer and it was for an unpaid internship? Are my expectations of the job hunt realistic or do I need to change them? I suppose these are the conflicting questions that arise when job hunting and being a recent grad -- second guessing yourself, being on a rollercoaster of emotions regarding self-worth and wondering what you did wrong to end up still sitting at home at your desk blogging about your lack of daily activity.

For now, I suppose I can put "couch potato and full-time job hunter" on my resume.

The potato on the right seems to describe me... minus the burping, beer, laziness and "good for nothing" part.